


Colourless Vanity

by Lacertae



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anbu Uzumaki Naruto, Angst and Humor, Dark, Eventual Romance, Gen, Growing Up, M/M, Slow Build, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-16 21:33:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2285205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lacertae/pseuds/Lacertae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Future Itachi/Naruto, Iruka/Kakashi, Genma/Raidou* Naruto had every intention to go train with Jiraiya after the Valley of End… but instead, he's given another option –become a member of the newest ANBU team… [rebooted]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Approach

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. For those who find the title of this fic familiar, this was posted a few years ago on ff.net (and also aff.net). It was left hanging for the past few years but I have decided to continue this until its end. So far I have edited four chapters, and once they're all fixed up, I will proceed with adding new content.
> 
> To all new readers, hello! This is going to be a slow-build fanfic, and you won't find much romance at start, as I plan to focus on Naruto as he grows up, his training, and his bonds with people, including Itachi. The romance will come only later, so if you expect them to fall in love in three chapters I'm sorry to say that is not going to happen.
> 
> This takes place right after the Valley of End, and in this one Sasuke was brought back to Konoha.

…–…–…–…–…–…–…

**Colourless Vanity**

**Chapter 01: Approach**

There was an unusual silence draped over the three figures standing in the Hokage’s office.

It was thick and tense and tasted of uneasiness and hesitation, as they had been discussing things of vital importance that none of them wanted to talk about.*

Despite the detailed reports, there were still blanks to fill, and things left to ponder that were not at all pleasant.

Things had taken an unexpected turn, and even though they were three of the most competent ninja of the village, they still needed to thread carefully.

Tsunade was sitting stiffly in the Hokage’s seat, slumped down on the desk; as she let out a soft sigh, her elbows slipped to hit a pile of paperwork, which managed not to fall. Brown eyes fluttered close as she slowly massaged her temples, a last attempt to make her migraine recede.

She was good at ignoring people and had successfully managed to ignore the two shinobi standing there for a good fifteen minutes after hours spent talking, but Tsunade was aware that she could not postpone this any longer.

The last few days had been vexing, and even though she would deny it if asked, she was tired, anxious, weary and most of all, pissed off.

Above all though, she felt _old_.

It was at times like these that she felt the brunt of her own age fall back on her shoulders, a weight full of pain that reminded her she was no longer the twenty-five years old woman she’d once been, no matter how many medical jutsu she used to seem younger.

As a ninja, Tsunade had seen her fair share of despair, pain and blood; it was enough to have her hold many regrets, and for a good part of her life she had thought this would only mean losing hope, day after day, running away and knowing her attempts to distance herself from the past were useless.

Then… she had been reminded that she had a ‘home’ to return to, a place she still loved and that had welcomed her when she had returned. Not all of her life had been pain, and it was good to remember that too.

Still that didn’t change the fact that she was not young anymore; having to deal with Hokage business was most assuredly not how she’d wanted to spend the last few years of her life. Despite that though, Tsunade had never felt more alive. Accepting her past, her responsibilities, had not been an easy step to make, and deciding not to run was even harder, but… she could now look back with bittersweet eyes and still think this was the right decision to make.

Konoha had not felt familiar, not like the warm place one could call home, but Tsunade had long since realised ‘home’ was not just a place to live. It was people to belong to, it was being appreciated and welcome, and Konoha, no matter its faults, was that place, and ‘home’ was also the person who had save her over and over, until she could stand on her own again.

As newer generations took place of the older ones, Tsunade was finally starting to see why Sarutobi had been so sure about the future of the Fire Nation.

Looking ahead rather than being burdened by the past, accepting and moving on without forgetting –that was a strength she had not properly learned until meeting Naruto. Embrace the memories but not allowing them to hold her back, glance at the future she still had in front of her, protect the village and its people, and feel once again alive.

She had done that, had accepted her duties as a shinobi of Konoha, regaining that peace of mind she’d only felt once before, when her brother and Dan had been alive. And the village… Konoha was _her_ village. she belonged to it, she loved it. That was the legacy her loved ones had left to her, and she would protect it to the best of her abilities.

This was tomorrow’s hope, after all.

That did not mean it was easy. Determination born from blood and sweat gave her strength, but it was not infinite. The Godaime was tired, and the state of Konoha after the Sound’s attack, was almost discouraging.

Of the many problems, the worst was the political issues she was facing, and it was the one she dreaded the most.

Uchiha Sasuke, the last member of the much glorified Uchiha clan, had escaped his sensei’s surveillance, running from the village in order to join a high-ranked missing-nin. The further ramifications of this were even worse –the missing-nin was Orochimaru, once also part of Konoha, renown across all hidden villages for being strong and ruthless, and for his hatred towards his once village. Sasuke had showed little care for what that would imply, and had even harmed his teammate, who had been dispatched to bring him back.

He would have actually managed to escape successfully if Naruto hadn’t been there to stop him; unfortunately, his attempt, although fruitless, still placed Tsunade in a bad position. An attempted betrayal of the village was no laughing matter, and Sasuke’s position as the last of a powerful bloodline clan was not going to offer much leeway.

On the surface things seemed under control –the Uchiha was back into the village, and nobody was aware of the situation aside for a handful of high-ranked people; but Tsunade knew it would be hard to make the Uchiha settle down and prevent him from running away again.

Considering the instable position Konoha was occupying after Sandaime Sarutobi-sama had died (by the hands of the same missing-nin Sasuke had tried to join), if the news of the attempted defection of Uchiha Sasuke were to reach the ears of the neighbouring countries, Konoha would face more trouble than it was worth, and its pride would take a harsh blow.

It wasn’t a secret that the Uchiha clan had been exterminated and the responsible had fled the village, and finding out that the remaining heir of the family had attempted defection… no, it would be a downfall.

It was said that the higher position one had, the harder it would fall… then Konoha was doomed to fall _hard_.

All of this over a stupid kid’s hot-blooded decision.

Of course, ninja defecting from their villages wasn’t uncommon; there were thousands missing-nin around the five elemental countries who found themselves unable to follow the rules, or simply broke down under the pressure, or wanted more power at their disposal.

Most of them remained nameless to the public, and only the bingo-books had detailed information on them, unless the nuke-nin decided to make a name for themselves, and those only served to bring shame to their original village.

Politically speaking, Sasuke had been a valuable asset; belonging to a loved, coveted clan, he had been worshipped and admired during his whole childhood, protected and pushed on the path of a ninja in order to serve the village as a symbol of power –the last Uchiha was still loyal.

If the news of his attempted defection were to reach potential opponents, they would use it against Konoha, and destroy its political standing with the other villages and the Daimyo.

Other ninja villages would feed on it, competing and teaming up against Konoha, weak after the death of its last Kage and after its almost destruction. People would not trust Konoha with missions and pacts, which it depended on to get back into gear, and following this the Fire Lord himself would deny Konoha his financial aid.

Her mind filled with those dreadful thoughts, Tsunade straightened her back and looked up at the two shinobi, still silently waiting for her to speak up. She was the Hokage now. All of this… was her responsibility, and avoiding such a horrifying situation was top priority.

Cold brown eyes regained control over her emotions and she took a deep, cleansing breath.

“Is he ok?”

Her tone was soft and worried, but her face did not betray her emotions. His safety would always come first, even before her village’s concern.

Kakashi, who had until then remained with his back pressed against the wall, looking nonchalant, nodded warily, his only visible eye narrowed; the part of his face that was not covered by his mask and hitai-ate was stony, but one could easily see he was relieved, not just weary.

He had never been this easy to read in a long while, but that also made him look older… his constant worrying over his students had overwhelmed his past defences and guilt and regrets were now piling up inside him.

He supposed he’d have to face them at one point, but now was not the time.

“Yes,” he finally replied, his shoulders tensing a bit without showing. “When the rescue team and I reached the Valley of End, both of them were still conscious, but Sasuke did not appear to object his return here. Naruto passed out on the way home due to fatigue, as his wounds were healing already on their own”.

The masked shinobi hesitated a bit, but one look from the Godaime forced him to continue.

“I tried to question Sasuke about what happened at the Valley, but he would not answer. He kept repeating he would not break another promise and stated coolly more than once that he won’t try something like this ever again”.

The Hokage sighed, but nodded at him. Naruto was fine, and in an instant most of her worries ceased to exist, cooling down her steely resolve. Sasuke was also back –that wouldn’t mean much if they did not make sure he wouldn’t leave again, but it was a start.

Questioning the Uchiha would be the best alternative for now, but she would wait him to heal completely before ordering someone to proceed with the inquisition.

“Thanks, Kakashi,” she said, her tone unwavering. “You can leave now”.

The Jounin nodded.

“I will be with Sasuke and Naruto at the hospital if you need me,” he muttered before vanishing on the spot, a small cloud of smoke in his place.

Tsunade shifted her gaze to the remaining shinobi; for a while, silence reigned on them once more, but the two could understand each other without speaking.

“What do you think?” Jiraiya finally asked, his rough voice showing his concern –he had been deeply worried, just like Tsunade had, because the blond brat had wormed into his heart just as much as he had done in hers.

The Toad Sannin moved towards the wall next to the window, unable to stand being in small constricting spaces for long; Jiraiya sought solace by leaning against the window’s frame instead, looking outside.

“I am glad they are both back…” Tsunade sighed, shaking her head once again. “Many problems will be avoided thanks to Naruto, but…” _‘… but I am more concerned about Naruto than any of Konoha’s political schemes…’_

Jiraiya grunted, understanding her unsaid words and not-so-privately agreeing with her. As the Sannin watched, Tsunade pulled out a bottle of sake from underneath the desk, sliding out two small cups from a drawer; her skills at hiding alcohol from Shizune were getting better, and in a moment like this they needed it.

Pouring out the clear liquid for both of them, Tsunade let her gaze meet Jiraiya’s before the two gulped their cups down. The sake burned down her throat, and she sighed silently, enjoying the strong feeling and the warmth.

“I want to take the brat with me”.

Jiraiya knew that his words would not be easily accepted by Tsunade, but he had to talk with her about it anyway. She looked only mildly surprised, but not pleased, and he looked away.

“Come again?” Tsunade waited for him to repeat himself.

She wasn’t exactly shocked, because she knew Jiraiya was trying to make up for the lost time with Naruto, but she had not expected him to offer so soon.

Unable to look at his old teammate, Jiraiya turned around, moving his gaze to the village he could see from the window of Tsunade’s office, then slowly looked up, at the five stony faces above him. The Hokage mountain was a sight visible from every spot in Konoha, a pleasant connection to the past.

The four Kage looked down at him, ready to judge him for his words, and not for the first time Jiraiya wondered if the protection that most shinobi and civilians felt when looking up at them was also meant for someone like Naruto, who needed it the most.

The village had been founded by Tsunade’s grandfather, one of the first two Kage of Konoha, and Jiraiya, in a way or another, had met all the previous Hokage. All of them had wanted to protect the place they had loved so much, and the people who lived within it.

Shodaime, Nidaime, Sandaime and Yondaime had always thought about Konoha first, and their own lives last, loving the place in their own, personal way…

He wondered, with a flicker of worry, if they would be supportive of his decision or not. If Yondaime would still trust him to make decisions for Naruto, with the way he had abandoned the kid and the village before.

Tsunade, just like them, had responsibilities. Even if her own love for the village came second only to Naruto’s wellbeing, as a Hokage she had to think of the whole Konoha first and foremost; Jiraiya suspected that if something happened to make her take a side, there would be no doubt which one of the two Tsunade would protect first, Konoha or Naruto.

That was also part of the reason Jiraiya wanted to take Naruto under his personal tutelage… so she would not have to ever face this decision.

He had no real ties to Konoha, except for the few people he cared for that lived within the village, and that was also why Jiraiya would never be Hokage. Like Tsunade, he would place someone else before Konoha, but unlike Tsunade, he could do it without repercussions. He had no obligations to think about Konoha first, and that was why he could grab Naruto and get him away from here.

That boy needed to leave and get stronger _outside_ of Konoha.

How could his thirst for knowledge and attention be granted without leaving? Konoha was stifling Naruto, rather than nurturing him, and Jiraiya had experienced first-hand what it meant to come to dislike a place you were supposed to love. Naruto needed his spaces, and some time to flourish. He would do that, and more, if he accepted Jiraiya’s offer to train alongside him.

That was because Naruto had yet to learn to love Konoha fully –the true requirement to become Hokage.

Yes, Naruto loved Konoha… but what he loved was the idea of it; the ideal Sandaime had offered him. Enraptured by the man’s words, Naruto had vowed to protect his friends and the people he cared for, but he did not love unconditionally the village.

He would slowly break down under the weight, and Jiraiya could _not_ allow it.

If the kid couldn’t stray from the path he had picked for himself, then Jiraiya would do what he could to aid him on that path.

Naruto was, after all, a child. There were many things he had yet to learn and see with his own eyes before he could understand things for what they were, and not through glittery-tinged glasses. His dream was mostly idealised, and he needed to grasp the darker sides just as well; he would have to learn there was no need to hurry, control his powers, and most of all he needed to open his eyes to the truth… and finally decide if he would be a good Hokage.

A Hokage’s power and position could be easily overestimated, and maybe Naruto had just shaped his desire to be accepted into the role of the leader, and Jiraiya knew that feeling too well…

But Jiraiya was not the Hokage.

That was why Jiraiya wanted to show Naruto the world outside of Konoha. Before he could collapse under the obligations and pain, he would offer him a taste of what a shinobi really was, and help him make a conscious decision.

“I want to take Naruto with me on a three–year training period,” he finally said, turning around to look at her again. “I am aware that Akatsuki won’t attack Naruto for the next few years, and Sasuke is safe in the village. Orochimaru had to possess another body, or risk dying, so as long as he’s guarded, there won’t be problems for at least three years. That gives enough time to plan what to do about Orochimaru’s goals with the Uchiha, and to give Naruto enough training”.

Tsunade licked her lips; she was listening, although she didn’t seem to like Jiraiya’s careless mention of their former teammate.

“This is the best option for him, Tsunade-hime, and you know it. You have seen his eyes, the way civilians and shinobi alike react to him. He needs to leave and grow on his own…” _‘and if the Council tries something, I will protect him fully without fearing any double-crossing from them,’_ he silently added.

With a start, Tsunade realised she was clutching the desk too tightly, and forced herself to loosen her grip, leaving ten small dents in the wood made by her nails. She had easily caught on Jiraiya’s unspoken words, and she knew he was right.

And yet… Naruto was the reason for her return to the village.

A part of her was not ready to let him leave, but she had to think about his wellbeing first and foremost, and that was…

“I…”

Jiraiya pressed on. “I _will_ take care of him, Tsunade, this is a promise. I care for him just as much as you do, and I will make him strong,” he tried to reassure her former teammate. He wasn’t one to make shallow promises, after all. “If there are any problems with allowing a genin to leave, we’ll deal with them one by one. But not even the elders can negate I am the best protection Naruto can have against Akatsuki”.

Tsunade had the sudden urge to stand up and hit him, all be damned, but she knew she’d have to eventually relent to the white haired man’s wishes. For Naruto. That was all for him.

“Your words mean nothing if I’m the one you ask for permission first. You’d have to find Naruto and ask him yourself first, then come to me” she muttered, taking a hold of her second sake cup and downing it in one gulp. _‘I admit there is a point to Jiraiya’s madness, but I do loathe to see him go…’_

Jiraiya nodded at the acceptance he saw in her eyes, his shoulders relaxing slightly.

“I will go right now, then,” he smiled at her, receiving a tired smile back –for once, they had not bickered. It felt good.

Before he could leave, there was a sudden chakra flare that alerted both Sannin; it was a deliberate, clear pulse made to warn the Hokage that someone was coming, subtle enough that only those within the Hokage office could feel it, so not to alert the guards by the door outside.

It was a signal only used by the Hokage’s personal guards, the ANBU division, and the Blank masks belonging to the Hunters, meant to reassure the Hokage that the incoming shinobi was no threat.

Both Jiraiya and Tsunade tensed as a figure appeared in front of the Hokage’s desk without the use of a smoke curtain, kneeling in front of the woman with his head facing down.

He was tall and looked no older than thirty, with dark, brownish hair cut short on his head; his frame was well built, but still lean and perfectly shaped under the dark outfit, while his face was covered by a white mask with black lines, whose shapes formed the features of a panther.

Tsunade lifted an eyebrow.

As his entrance and his appearance confirmed, the shinobi belonged to the ANBU team, and was in fact the Captain of the first squad, the commander of the corps and one of Tsunade’s strongest allies within Konoha. The man’s name-code was famous throughout the village and even outside, whose loyalty was strong and unwavering.

ANBU, as opposed to normal ranking shinobi, took orders directly from the Hokage in charge, and were trained to answer to the Kage’s will alone; they did not respond to the authority of the Elder Council, nor to the Clan Head’s Council either, and were a secluded category, separated from the usual shinobi rankings.

They were the elite of the village, respected and feared for their skills and courage, Tsunade’s personal guard during public situations and first in line in battle and ambush.

There were not many differences between normal teams and ANBU ones; each squad had a team leader and three members, and sometimes two or three squads would work together on missions. The main difference between normal shinobi and ANBU was that to protect their identities, ANBU members wore masks, each of them unique and depicting an animal face painted in black on white.

Since ANBU had the most difficult, dangerous missions, their identities were heavily guarded, and outside of the ANBU headquarters only the Hokage knew the identity of each member (that is, unless it involved shinobi from important clans, who took pride in their strength and often allowed a small circle of people to know their position within the ANBU).

During peaceful times, the number of ANBU teams in service was five, but during war times it could increase exponentially. Squad members took orders from their leaders, and all of them only answered to the main squad’s captain, who was the corps’ commander.

Opposed to the rest of the ANBU, the identity of the Commander Head was a sealed secret that not even fellow ANBU knew. Even the Hokage, the only person who could see the Commander mask-less, preferred to forget having this knowledge, and never abused of this fact.

Between the ranks of the ANBU, identities were often shared amongst teammates, some deciding not to share it at all, some allowing the whole division to know; as it was, ANBU protected their own identity as well as their partners’. Loyal and secretive, one of their assignments was to protect the village and hunt down traitors (the Hunters’ division was especially trained for that purpose), even though they also got missions that ranked from A–special to S, which were usually assassinations or undercover missions in enemy territory. Jounin shinobi were allowed to take up to A, although there were special cases where certain Jounin’s skills overlapped those of the ANBU, and they were allowed higher ranking missions.

To be accepted within the ANBU division, a shinobi didn’t need to go through any standard exam or reach a certain level; outsiders thought that to qualify as an ANBU choice one had to be at least of Jounin level, but in truth the troops held separate exams individually, offering a position to someone they deemed worthy or by accepting the Hokage’s suggested choices every year or so.

The chosen ones would be placed under supervision for a month, and they would then be trained intensively to even out their skills and enhance their personal traits. After that period, they would get tested to see whether they were skilled enough to be accepted into the division.

Since ANBU life could interfere with normal ranking missions, and that protecting their own identity would bring out questions that could not be answered, most of the ninja in active duty that belonged to the ANBU troops were uninterested in formalities, and never took the Jounin exam.

Some ninja appeared to be meek and quiet, living a simple life with low ranking missions to fit the budget, and thus keep under the radar, avoiding overlapping missions with their second life as an ANBU member.

Others faked retirement from active duty for one reason or another, dedicating themselves to high ranked secret missions and using a simple job in the village as a cover-up.

The few ninja that actually decided to take and pass the Jounin exam were only the ones that strictly _had_ to, either because their clan expected them to, knowing about their position (and thus leaking out the news to gain pride for the clan) or because it would have seemed strange not to. Some simply enjoyed the rush, or the need to look strong in front of their village.

ANBU never cared for age, rank or families and bloodlines; being accepted within the troops was merely thanks to personal skills, individual tests and training, and to actually be accepted was both a great honour and a great responsibility.

Since flooding the Hokage with daily missions’ reports was unthinkable, Tsunade (as her predecessors) received the visit of one of the squad leaders for a weekly report; eventually she could ask for a specific ANBU to be present to inquire more about certain missions, but to actually see the Commander kneeling in front of her was not an usual occurrence.

She knew instantly that something was up.

The Commander’s code-name was _Hyoodoku_ , the only name this particular shinobi would be known as for as long as he kept his role in the ANBU, and nothing else.

ANBU masks only reflected the person behind them, and Hyoo was just as dangerous and feral as the animal painted on his mask was.

“Hokage-sama,” the man said, voice deep and laced with respect.

Tsunade observed him for a second, relieved for his presence but somewhat curious as to why he would be there, and then nodded sharply to Jiraiya, signalling him he could stay. She returned her attention to the ANBU.

“Panther, what is the meaning of your appearance here? I have already received your weekly report yesterday… has something happened that I am not aware of?”

The kneeling ninja finally stood up, keeping his back slightly slouched in order to appear shorter than the Hokage herself, and cleared his throat.

He was there for a reason, and he knew he would be walking on eggshells if he could not explain himself properly to his new Hokage.

“Tsunade Hokage-sama, I am here for a pledge –ANBU troops ask for the permission to start a test for a new member”.

Tsunade couldn’t restrain a small twitch of confusion from showing on her face; as far as she knew, all five teams were intact, no member had died yet, and the usual recruits period was still a couple months away. What Hyoo was requesting was obviously a special test.

Why were the ANBU asking for one now?

“A new member?” she asked, intertwining her fingers in front of her face and leaning her elbows on the desk, ignoring the bottle of sake and the documents still scattered there. “Are you planning on creating a sixth four-man team?”

Tsunade had suspected for a while that ANBU were feeling less secure after the Chuunin exams. They had also been fooled by Orochimaru, and the result had been Sandaime’s death.

That had been a huge blow for everybody, but for people who had been loyal to the Hokage first and foremost, the shame burnt even more –they had failed the only person they valued above any other, who had been commanding them for decades.

Hyoo hesitated for a second, uncertain on how to approach the subject with lady Hokage, but there was no way he could back down.

“Some formerly retired members have asked to be reinstalled to active duty, and they were accepted back,” he said, his tone even but steady. “The Sixth team is however comprised of just three members, and I am here to request permission for a new trainee to be given a chance”.

Tsunade blinked in surprise, and casting a quick glance at Jiraiya, she saw the same curiosity in his eyes as well.

To have old members reinstalled in the ANBU ranks was almost unheard of, since very few ANBU members were allowed to retire (unless crippled, or seriously ill) and they were closely monitored to prevent any leakage of information.

Even so, fewer ever asked to come back. Tsunade only knew of two, ever.

The woman forced her shoulders to relax –she would have to meet the members beforehand, and since she had no way to know who they were, given they had been on active duty with her predecessor, not her, this would prove to be a pleasurable distraction from her current set of problems.

More so, if the ANBU were asking for a new member, even though it was just so they could fill up their new team, that would be something to regard with attention; only shinobi with great potential or skills were allowed to give a try.

After all, of the many ninja that ANBU tested, only a few managed to pass the test and were thus confirmed trainees; most were disappointed by their own failure and would go back to their lives with the resolve to improve, their memories of the ANBU headquarters’ location erased from their mind.

Rejected candidates usually returned for the following try-outs, while others simply gave up.

ANBU that dropped out from active duty, depending on their status, mental stability and eventual injuries also had their memories of the headquarters location erased, unless the ANBU decided to still keep in contact with them to use them as information-gatherers from outside the troops.

“I accept the meeting with the members,” Tsunade finally said, nodding to the man. “As for the request for a new member, I need to know their name, current status, and a motivation for why you selected that person”.

Jiraiya smirked, shaking his head inwardly at Tsunade’s business-like behaviour. Despite all her mourning and bitching about it, the Hokage position fit her like a glove.

Hyoo hesitated again, as if pondering how to exactly tell the Hokage about his chosen one, then sighed, knowing there wouldn’t be a way to sweeten it up.

“It is a young male we have been observing for quite some time, assessing his current performances and his progresses as a shinobi of Konohagakure,” he started. “He has talent but needs a serious training, one that can unlock his skills and capabilities without interruptions –a rigid training to shape what now is raw and rough”.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes, listening to the man’s words.

“So you are saying that, even though if he is talented and has the potential to be an ANBU, he is still not ready yet?”

Hyoo nodded. “Our training regimen will polish what is there without fail, and it won’t take much longer for him to be ready,” he assured, sounding sure of himself. “ANBU have often acquired members for the sole purpose of training their raw potential, so it would not be the first time we have chosen someone who is not already fit for the position. This shinobi has good skills and strength, and all he requires is attention and constant focus”.0

Tsunade grimaced. Something in the man’s tone was making her stomach squirm uneasily. “And who would this promising ninja be?”

Hyoo exhaled slowly, preparing himself for the outburst that was sure to come.

“Uzumaki Naruto”.

…–…–…–…

As he stepped into the hospital room, Kakashi was suddenly aware of three things.

The first was how the beds were placed within the room, far from each other, which differed from the usual room formation with the beds placed closer to each other; Kakashi was sure that neither Naruto nor Sasuke had been the ones to move the beds like that, because the first was still unconscious, and the second was weakened and currently sealed on the bed.

The second was the crowd of nurses around Sasuke’s bed, and by the Uchiha’s displeased expression, it was clear he was not enjoying it. Naruto’s side of the room was also unusually bare, making the Jounin inwardly frown.

He had seen Naruto’s friends come with get-well cards, and Hinata had brought flowers, but there was nothing there. To make up for that though, Iruka was sitting next to the sleeping teen, eyes focused on his resting figure, looking calm and plainly ignoring the nurses.

The third and most important thing was how the nurses were pointedly ignoring Naruto’s side, and Iruka. He didn’t look unattended –Tsunade would never allow that– but Kakashi was sure that the only one taking care of the sleeping teen was Iruka.

The copy-nin paused only for a split second, committing to memory the nurses’ faces for later, when he reported their unprofessional attitude to the head of the hospital, then moved to Naruto’s side.

Iruka heard the approaching Jounin and looked up, eyes tired and weary.

“How is he?” Kakashi asked conversationally, tone cheerful but eye sharply focused on his sleeping student.

“Relatively fine, and after I scolded the nurses, they’ve taken on ignoring me,” Iruka snorted, eyes taking on a dangerous glint. “They only did the minimum required, patching up his wounds and bandaging them. Thankfully he is recovering quickly. I guess this is one of the few times I’m glad he has… _that_ ,” the Chuunin chuckled. “He should wake up soon”.

“Good,” Kakashi nodded, relieved. The Naruto on the bed was too pale, too quiet to compare with the Naruto he knew. He was young and yet had an enormous potential, and Kakashi felt a growing dread at his own actions towards both him and Sasuke.

Supporting one student at the expenses of another… what had he been thinking? Hiding his eagerness to train Sasuke as his pupil under the false pretence of helping him master the Sharingan…

Kakashi was ashamed of himself. He had always despised favouritism, but his words had been those of a hypocrite. He had not noticed, nor had he taken care of it, and he just hoped he would be allowed a way to fix his mistakes.

He had refused to see Naruto as his own person, seeing shadows of his old sensei and Obito in him, and had pushed away almost unconsciously, looking at Sasuke and seeing himself in the young genin.

Blinded by what he could see in Sasuke, what he’d deluded himself to see, he had failed to take notice of the darkness hiding inside the teen’s heart –what Sasuke had learned from him had been used for revenge, while what Naruto would learn…

… would serve him to protect.

“Naruto will be ok, you don’t have to worry,” Kakashi told Iruka in a low voice.

They both paused to look at Sasuke’s side. The nurses were finally gone, and the teen was now staring stubbornly out of the window, ignoring the two adults who could still see him peek at them… no, at Naruto… every now and then.

Kakashi could say he’d grown to understand Sasuke, even though he hadn’t been able to _see_ for a long time, and he had to wonder whether Tsunade would allow him to keep the memories of what had happened at the Valley of End for himself, or if she’d make him break just to know.

One thing was obvious, though –there was no hatred in Sasuke’s eyes, and Kakashi had to strain his senses to feel the foul smell of possession coming from him.

With a sigh, Kakashi left the hospital.

…–…–…–…

Both Tsunade and Jiraiya were left speechless.

They stared at the ANBU commander with the same stunned stare, almost expecting him to take back his words, but that did not happen –Hyoo remained silent, defiant, though under his mask his face betrayed his tension.

He would stand his ground –this was far too important not to.

“Tsunade–sama… Jiraiya–sama,” he finally spoke, staring at the two Sannin. He would include the white haired sennin in his speech due to his well–known familial love for the teen. “I formally request the permission to test one Uzumaki Naruto as the new trainee for the ANBU troops”.

“No!” Tsunade replied, without even thinking. “I won’t allow him to take _that_ path!”

Disbelief laced her words –Naruto did not have the skills or the mental attitude to be an ANBU. He had no experience yet, he was not disillusioned, and Tsunade was secretly afraid to face the moment he would come back from a mission after having killed for the first time. Normal ninja could avoid killing unless it was strictly necessary, but for ANBU he wouldn’t have that luxury.

He was too young, too inexperienced, he had yet to understand what the true life of a shinobi was, aside for teammates running away and organizations seeking out tailed beasts. Normal shinobi life was different, darker than the petty missions genin were allowed to take.

No, Naruto couldn’t give his pledge to the ANBU. Not him.

Hyoo sighed, then straightened his back, mentally preparing to challenge his Hokage; she was stubborn, but he would not back down until she could see he was right.

“With all due respect, Hokage-sama, he has the qualities to become a great shinobi, if allowed to train with us,” he countered, trying to reason with her. The boy had raw talent, talent that was being wasted.

But Hyoo’s reasons for insisting with the Hokage had actually not much to do with the opportunity to add a potentially strong shinobi to his ranks, and certainly had _nothing_ to do with the Kyuubi residing inside Naruto’s seal.

More than to any other Hokage, the ANBU had especially been loyal to the Yondaime, the only man who had inspired not just loyalty, but trust within the ANBU corps. He had treated them not just as faithful weapons, but also as people, like the rest of the shinobi and the villagers. Yondaime _understood_ the truth behind the façade of the ANBU.

They had been there during the Kyuubi’s attack, they had seen the depths of Yondaime’s grief over losing his wife, they had seen the determination flashing through his eyes, and the pain when he had given up his life in order to complete the seals that would chain the beast once more, this time in his little baby’s body.

They were there for it all, silent testimony of a great sacrifice filled with hope, there to mourn on their own for the loss of their leader, of a comrade and a friend.

And unlike Minato and Kushina, they had been there for the aftermath. That little baby left behind to take the brunt of the village’s pain, of a hatred misplaced and fired against a kid rather than at a beast, something Yondaime would have never believed to be possible.

The ANBU had guarded Naruto’s life for the first few years of his life, preventing grieving ninja and even villagers from attacking him directly, but even they could not be everywhere, because after Kyuubi’s destruction they had to do their own part to make Konoha rise again.

Naruto had not been as alone as he’d thought, but the ANBU had been unable to do much either way, because they couldn’t interact directly with the little kid and they were forced to do what was best for the village first, as per Sandaime’s orders.

But they knew. ANBU were aware that Naruto was not the Kyuubi, merely the container. Not a demon, but simply an unfortunate sacrifice.

Sandaime Sarutobi-sama had forbidden ANBU from taking little Naruto under their wing, partly because he wanted the kid to grow up like a normal kid, away from the bloodshed that being in the secret corps was inevitable, thinking that protecting the kid rather than telling him the truth would make him understand in the long run, not to mention his determination to keep the rest of the Council calm, and keep Naruto safe as much as he could without taking him under his tutelage.

The Council had wanted to kill the demon, not understanding that doing so would only let Kyuubi break free again, and afterwards they had wanted to deploy him to their service, making him grow as a human weapon with no identity, and they had been denied that too.

Keeping him away from ninja until he was at the academy, keeping him down low and hiding from him the truth was meant to make him seem weak, not a threat. It had worked, but to the expense of Naruto’s own growth, self-worth and happiness.

Hyoo still felt regret over his inability to help.

If the Sandaime had allowed one of them to gain custody of Naruto since the very start, none of this would have ever happened, but they had been unable to do anything but watch from afar, protecting him as much as they could without interfering.

Now things were different, yet a mirror of the past.

Konoha had been attacked again and the ANBU had to get busy again to protect and aid its growth, but now Naruto was no little kid in need of protection. He needed guidance, and adults steering his life in the right direction. He could be given the chance to follow the ANBU, be taught by them and learn and grow.

Hyoo wanted Tsunade to _understand_ –he knew that she cared for Naruto, it was a gift that Naruto kept spreading around, making bonds with people who would have never thought of liking him. She would only want his best, and she hadn’t been there _before_. Hyoo had.

“Tsunade–sama…” he looked at her in the eyes, “We will take care of the Yondaime’s legacy without fail”.

His words made both the older ninja stiffen. Something that had never been spoken aloud ever since the Fourth’s death was hanging in the air between them, raw and bare, almost accusing, and in Jiraiya’s mind that stung like the blade of a katana.

It was a low blow, but one Hyoo had not hesitated in deploying.

The Hokage’s hands were trembling as she poured herself a third cup of sake, gulping it down with her eyes covered by blond bangs, not speaking. She wouldn’t give the man the chance to see how deeply his words had touched her.

“Naruto has to leave the village,” Jiraiya interrupted harshly. His decision was being challenged, and he didn’t want to allow someone else to take care of Naruto. It was his duty and even though he acted like the teen bothered him most of the time, it was the opposite. He was old and had a hard time learning how to care for someone else, especially so young, but it was _his_ duty, not someone else’s. “I will be taking him with me for three years”.

Hyoo turned towards him, his mask hiding his face but not the tension in his body.

“Staying in the village only poses a danger to his growth,” Jiraiya continued, voice not louder than a hiss. “He needs to learn that there is a world outside of Konoha, and that he can love his village by learning how things work outside, in the rest of the lands,” his eyes narrowed. “ANBU is not the right path for him. He will stay under _my_ tutelage”.

Hyoo shook his head.

It would be wrong; Jiraiya-sama was a strong shinobi, yes, but they were all aware that he was running away. Before Naruto, Jiraiya himself would have admitted it, and it was true he was changing only because of Naruto’s influence, but that meant Jiraiya saw himself in Naruto. He would take Naruto away from the village, and then the problems would still be there in the end, haunting them both during their travels.

Naruto would grow under Jiraiya’s tutelage, but other parts of him would not mature.

“ANBU will offer the best protection in such circumstances. Jiraiya-sama can continue travelling on his own, gather information without having to split his attention between that and Naruto,” Hyoo replied, keeping his voice firm and steady. “We will erase his identity and keep him in our hideout to train, within the village grounds, where he can observe without being influenced. The boy will need to face the truth with his own eyes, and confront it”.

He paused, staring Jiraiya straight into his eyes. “We are going to offer him a purpose”.

Tsunade licked her dry lips, breathing deeply for a few seconds as the two men stared each other down, neither stepping back from the challenge.

A purpose.

Tsunade knew that Naruto needed to grow, to learn. She also knew that his idealistic dream would hit against the barrier of reality, and he needed to learn that reality and dreams were different, and could only overlap when all was out in the open, no delusions and no hiding.

This… for how much it hurt her to think this, this was Naruto’s decision to make. He might be young, but they were shinobi. Protecting Naruto from the inevitable would not aid him in the least.

Running away.

These words echoed through Jiraiya’s mind like boiling oil, bitter and accusing and brutally direct. Hyoo had probably meant to be blunt, not offensive, and the fact that Jiraiya felt attacked meant they were ringing painfully true.

Would it really be like running away if Naruto left the village to train with him? Did Hyoodoku have a point with his accusation?

Jiraiya dispelled such thoughts. Naruto as an ANBU… he couldn’t see it. Despite his determination, he would never pass the exam, and what if he did?

Would he even accept to try out?

And if Jiraiya allowed him to try, only to see him fail, wouldn’t that waste the little time they had before Akatsuki returned?

“Naruto has the rights to decide,” Tsunade murmured, not looking up from her joined hands. “But he has to know there is another option, as well”.

The Sennin stared worriedly at her; she had to be on his side, even when she wasn’t really, but they had to make joint forced against the idea of Naruto joining the ANBU. He was too young, too inexperienced and clueless about the life of ninja to find it out that way.

He was not ready, and probably would never be. It was just nonsense.

_‘He will be a great shinobi, that is for sure –he will be Hokage one day, but… ANBU? No, never’_.

Naruto could not follow their rules…

And even knowing that, Jiraiya knew he had to consider Naruto as an adult, in ninja standards. No matter his age, he was a shinobi of Konoha. He would need to know all the options offered to him, and whatever decision he took, it would be his own.

Jiraiya would have to agree and go along with it, because he cared for Naruto. Not because he was his old student’s legacy, but simply because Naruto was Naruto.

Hyoo noticed Jiraiya’s shoulders drop ever so slightly and felt a surge of satisfaction, knowing he had won; now he only needed to take care of the rest, to make sure the rest would run smoothly.

With a quick bow to the two older shinobi, the Panther disappeared without a trace from the Hokage’s office, once again without smoke to hide his departure.

…–…–…–…

When Iruka finally left the hospital, it was already dawn.

Naruto had yet to wake up, but Iruka had every intention to stay by his side until he regained consciousness, and if the nurses tried to ‘politely’ send him off, he was going to put his foot down and file a complaint with the head of the hospital.

Since that meant the Hokage, he knew they would back down, and he had to smirk at the thought.

Hurrying down the street, the Chuunin teacher let idly thoughts run through his mind. He wondered if his laundry would be dry when he got home, and then he wondered if he’d have enough food to make himself dinner before going to bed early.

He needed some rest, as the following morning he’d have to get his class to the Academy Training Grounds for a shuriken-throwing practice lesson. He still had nightmares from his previous weaponry class, and there were holes in his pants he kept discovering even weeks after.

Teachers had it hard, and he sort of envied the team Jounin teachers, as they only had to control three teenagers each… he had an entire class of pre-teens ready to demolish the academy –not really a walk in the park.

Young kids thinking they were extremely gifted with weapons could be scary, especially when they were allowed to handle shiny and pointy things; most of them had a bad aim, of course, and the huge ego only children could have which made them feel like they were on top of the world. It took him all his skills and experience to keep them from hurting themselves (or him).

If he didn’t love teaching, he’d wonder why he had opted for such job in the first place, though at first his decision had nothing to do with–

“Iruka-sensei!” he turned around, blinking in surprise when he saw who was approaching him –his former student Haruno Sakura, Naruto’s teammate. She waved her hand as she approached him, and Iruka stopped to wait for her.

At a close inspection, she seemed to be tired and worried, with red cheeks and puffy eyes, sign she had been crying for a while recently. Iruka didn’t need observation skills to be able to read such obvious signs, and knowing her two teammates were in the hospital, he was pretty sure that was the reason for her tears.

“Sakura, what are you doing here? You should hurry home, your family will be worried,” Iruka chided her, in his usual mother-hen attitude he reserved for all his students, old and young alike.

“Sorry, I went to see Ino and lost track of the time,” she apologized, smiling sheepishly at him. Sakura then cleared her throat, looking down at the ground and then back up at her former teacher. “Say, Iruka-sensei… did you visit Naruto and Sasuke-kun?”

The Chuunin nodded, smiling warmly at her. “They are allowed to receive visits now, so you can go see them tomorrow if you want, alright?”

Sakura nodded eagerly, then her expression turned conflicted.

“Is there something you want to say?” he asked her gently, keeping his tone even and warm.

“Iruka-sensei, I…” she struggled with herself for a moment, before staring into his eyes. “I made Naruto promise to bring Sasuke-kun back, and I was so cold and mean to him but he just… he said he’d do it, without even protesting and then… and he did it. He kept his promise and I…” she looked down, her shoulders trembling.

Iruka sighed. “Naruto cares for you, Sakura,” he placed one hand on her head, like he had done countless times when she had been younger. “Not just because he likes you, but because you are his teammate. Tomorrow… I am sure you will find the right words for both him and Sasuke then. You know already what you want to say, right?”

She nodded, taking a shuddery breath.

“Then you will do well. Remember, being sorry means you are changing, and admitting you are wrong about something… or someone… is a good step ahead,” he ruffled her hair slightly, then his tone turned mock-serious. “Now you’d better run home, young miss! I can still scold you if you’re late for supper!”

A small smile appeared on Sakura’s face, and she nodded to herself. “Thank you, Iruka-sensei… you’re the best!”

Still subdued, but looking more relieved than before, Sakura bowed and turned around, walking quickly until she was out of sight, and Iruka watched her go with a soft smile on his lips.

Iruka did not move, though. He remained standing in the middle of the empty street for a long while, breathing the cool air and watching the shadows formed by the light of a lamppost curl around his feet, until a darker silhouette appeared next to his own.

Only then did he look up, facing the figure that was standing next to him in silence, almost waiting for him to speak. Iruka’s face turned unnaturally blank.

“What brings you here? Is everything ok?” he asked, turning away from the other man and apparently not at all bothered by its sudden appearance at his side.

“Yes, I think everything is going rather well,” the other replied with a shrug.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea in the first place?” Iruka’s voice was filled with worry and uncertainty, but the other man leaned towards him and patted his back with familiarity.

“I am aware of your bonds with him. You must agree with me that this is the best course of action… after all, you have not complained about yourself, and you’re coming back as well”.

Iruka let out a soft laugh, smiling as he stared up at the star filled sky. His shoulders relaxed and he found himself nodding in consent without even realising it.

“That’s true, I guess. I don’t mind coming back, after all, apart some gruesome parts, it was _almost_ fun”.

“Almost?” the figure chuckled under his breath. “Should I mention that time when–”

“Hmm,” Iruka shushed him. “No need to remember _that_ ”. Waving one hand in front of his face to chase away a very embarrassing memory, Iruka fell quiet once more.

The figure snickered softly, then tapped his shoulder. “Remember, we need to fix everything that is left over by tomorrow night, so be sure to report”.

Iruka waved his hand dismissively and nodded, but the figure was already gone.

With a lingering smile on his lips, Iruka turned around and walked home.


	2. Offer

…–…–…–…–…–…–…

**Colourless Vanity**

**Chapter 02: Offer**

As he resurfaced from unconsciousness, Naruto was aware at first only of the strong, nauseating smell of antiseptic.

It was so pungent that he wrinkled his nose, ripped away from sleep, and tried to unconsciously pull away from it, and the movement _hurt_.

He blinked a few times, waiting for his blurry sight to focus on something, and he realised only after a while that he was facing a blank ceiling; the smell was still overpowering his senses, and he fought down the urge to retch. Naruto forced himself to take deep breathes, and after a while he was able to relax and ignore both the pain in his body and the smell.

The room he was into had dim lights, which he was grateful for since his eyes hurt a bit.

At the same time, he became aware of the silence surrounding him, another good thing –his head was already hurting as it was, and noise would only make it worse.

By the smell alone, his brain finally put one and one together –he was probably in Konoha’s hospital, and by the way his body hurt with even the slightest movement, he could understand _why_ he would be there.

The sheets under his back were anything but soft, though, and there was something under his lower back that was hard against his ribs, making him wince, so he decided to stop moving altogether and just wait for the pain to pass.

Hesitantly turning his head to the left, he noticed he was inches away from the endless white that was the wall, so he turned to the right instead; checking the rest of the room he was in, he cringed.

There was another bed on the other side of the room, and inside it there was an equally heavily bandaged Sasuke, sleeping quietly.

The sight managed to relieve him, and yet also made his chest hurt. His… friend was safe and sound, but he was back only because Naruto had forced him to, through willpower and sheer determination, and he could see the results from his bed. Both of them were hurt.

Thinking back at that moment in the Valley of End when they had faced each other, ready to go all the way, Naruto had to admit he had felt despair. He had truly believed his words would not reach Sasuke –that he was far too gone to see reason.

He had been wrong. Sasuke had listened to him.

In what Naruto could only describe as a miracle, he had gotten through Sasuke’s thick head and got him to listen. He thanked every Kami there was for this little miracle. Sasuke had accepted to come back. He would not leave again. Naruto had offered him a valid view thanks to his fists and will, and he guessed that was the best that he could do.

Things were not completely solved, far from that, but… they were going to be ok, at least for now.

The door creaked open, attracting Naruto’s attention from the sleeping figure of his friend.

A nurse stepped into his room, glancing his way only for a second before hurrying to Sasuke’s bed to fuss around him for a little bit. She added a few flowers to the vase next to the bed, then rearranged his sheets without waking him, silent and competent.

Naruto waited, not expecting her to offer any sort of assistance especially now that he was awake, but he did not close his eyes, despite knowing what was going to happen. She looked at him only when there was nothing else to do for Sasuke, and even then it was with clear hesitation.

She did not ask if he needed anything –water, a pillow– and rather than full-on hatred she was looking disgusted, maybe afraid of him, which was somewhat stupid since he was stuck in a bed wrapped up like a mummy, but Naruto could not claim to understand what went through those adults’ minds.

‘It’s the eyes,’ he idly thought, looking away. Their eyes were always what got to him the most. After so many years, he had grown apt to ignoring words of hate and whispered insults behind his back, but their eyes never hid their dislike. It was like what they couldn’t voice was thrown to his face simply by looking at him.

Naruto had learned that they were just ignorant. He was a vessel, not the demon, but how could they know? If even other shinobi mistakenly thought of him as the demon, or as a controlled puppet in the hands of Kyuubi no Kitsune, how could civilians know better?

That was why he endured even the glares. There was no point, not until he could find a way to let them all know who he was, and what he could do. and there were already people who cared for him and showed that, and having that meant he did not care what a stupid nurse thought.

He was not a monster, and yes, he wanted the villagers to stop glaring at him with hatred, but… they would see it, if they were given enough time. He would show them, and they would finally see him for who he was.

Until them, he could tolerate the hatred, because he had people who cared already.

Ignoring the nurse’s hesitance, he looked at Sasuke once again. Their fight had been more devastating than he’d ever thought possible, and they had both done their worse, so to speak. Naruto had been this close to dying, but for once things had gone the way they should have. Sasuke was back. It was perfectly justified, even if they had to stick to being in bed for a while.

Unfortunately that also meant Naruto had to accept other truths. He had called forth a power that was not his own in order to reach his friend, and that…

That had been a powerful wakeup call. He was not a superhero. He was just a human, who was willing to cross paths with a demon if it served him well. He was not above using underhanded means, exactly like Sasuke, even if it was for what he considered the greater good, and that… that made him feel weak.

Naruto had spent most of his life creating childish delusions about himself, his past, the reasons why he was hated. It was a way like any other not to lose himself to despair, staying awake at night, cuddled in his bed, thinking up stories about who his parents were, why they were gone, why they had given him to the Fourth to seal the beast inside him.

If they were in the afterlife, regretful for their actions.

He had clung to the hope that this was happening to him because he was special, and that one day he would show it to everyone else.

Naruto had a great determination, and an even greater will, but this fight with Sasuke had shown him he was not as strong as he’d believed himself to be.

He had fought hard against Sasuke, but that hadn’t been a true victory –they had been tied up to the very end, and Sasuke had agreed to come back not because Naruto had won over him, but because he had managed to reach out and touch Sasuke’s heart.

He wasn’t as superior as he believed himself to be. If he wanted to show the village his worth, he needed to _gain_ that strength. He needed to find it with his own hands first.

Naruto did not speak as the nurse finally advanced towards him, her eyes cool; it was her duty as a nurse to check up on him, so she could not deny him the same basic attentions as her other patients. She quickly checked his stats, made a show of fluffing up his pillow, then she glanced down at him.

“Since you seem to be awake, I will have to warn you,” she stated, voice steely. He looked at her. “I do not want to hear any sort of ruckus inside the room that could potentially disturb Uchiha-san. He needs rest, obviously, and while our Hokage seems to hold you in high regards, that is not a feeling shared by people more sensible to your treacherous deceits”.

Naruto rolled his eyes, snorting at her words; yes, sure, he was deceiving the Hokage, just like he was the one who had ‘corrupted their poor Sasuke-kun’. He could just hear the nurses chide him for breathing, and part of him wished he was feeling better, so that he could create some of this ‘ruckus’ they seemed to be so afraid of. That would show them.

He wanted to chuckle, but he didn’t want to give the woman any leeway, so he refrained.

The nurse seemed to notice how her words had not affected Naruto at all, because she huffed slightly. “It will be this lack of respect for your betters that will show you your place”.

Naruto had the perfect comeback on his lips, something along the lines of ‘yeah, so I’ll be sure to come here when I’m Hokage, just so you can congratulate me on what my place is’, but someone else spoke up before he could.

“I would suggest to mind your words. A disciplinary hearing would not benefit you, and receiving a note on your bad temper might prevent you from attaining that pay rise you’ve been hoping for”.

The sudden intromission of a foreign voice jolted both the nurse and Naruto out of their staring.

The injured teen did not know who had spoken up, but given his position and how he had a hard time even shifting, he could not sit up to see the newcomer, who was standing behind the Nurse.

Spluttering in embarrassment, the nurse spun around, moving away from Naruto’s line of sight and allowing him to see the man standing there; he blinked in surprise, eyes growing wide as he noticed the mask covering the man’s face.

This guy was one of the village’s ANBU guards, but Naruto was not fooled by his casual stance; he could feel a barely restrained aura of quiet disapproval surrounding him, and he felt an edge of wariness coil inside his stomach.

The ANBU was strong, anybody could feel that, though how strong he did not know, and his whole aura spoke of danger, much like a creature waiting to pounce.

The strokes of paint on his mask resembled a feline of sorts, crimson lines surrounding the eye holes in a way that made it seem even more feral, and Naruto shivered, as the ANBU was not looking at the nurse anymore, but at _him_. This was the feeling an ANBU offered, which was different from the cheerful appearance shinobi like Kakashi and Jiraiya had –the ANBU didn’t need to hide behind a façade, he was all about intimidation and outspoken threat.

Naruto couldn’t help but peek at the man’s attire in the few seconds between his appearance and the nurse freezing in place. The ANBU’s vest was simple, just black and metal, but there was a sword draped on his back, tied in a black cloth, and there was a pouch to his waist and a smaller one tied to his left leg.

He looked ready for a mission, and Naruto felt a wave of awe and respect for a man ready for everything even in his own village.

Unsure how to react to the ANBU’s appearance, Naruto remained quiet, waiting for the man to stop staring at him, or at least to speak up. Part of him was wary –this was one of Konoha’s best shinobi, what was he doing in the hospital, in his room?– and another part was feeling a strong wave of awe. He had never been able to see ANBU this close, not even during Oto’s attack, so this was a novelty.

The nurse let out a strangled yelp, then forgetting protocol, she turned around and left the room in a hurry, not even looking back, the door slamming behind her back.

Naruto only felt relieved for a split second, because when he looked at the ANBU again, the man was still staring at him, putting him on edge.

After what felt like an eternity, the ANBU finally looked away, and Naruto relaxed a bit, watching the man look towards Sasuke’s bed; the other teen was still sleeping, completely unaware of what was going on around him.

With the man’s aura diminishing now that the nurse was gone, Naruto could barely feel a chakra pulse coming from the ANBU, which was a statement of his strength. He watched as the guy moved towards his teammate’s bed, slowly and without making any noise.

Curious about what the older shinobi was going to do, Naruto simply stared. The ANBU wasn’t _doing_ anything, actually, he was simply staring at Sasuke like he had stared at Naruto, without moving.

Naruto took a deep sigh. The ANBU was probably there under Tsunade’s orders to check on Sasuke, or maybe the Council had ordered him to protect their precious Uchiha heir, who knew? As long as they were aware Sasuke would not run away anymore, then it was fine.

Maybe it was simply because he still had some sort of resentment towards Sasuke, or better, for the way people treated him, but he had to wonder what was so interesting about Sasuke that made everybody want to love him so much.

Yeah, he was the last of the ‘infamous Uchiha clan’, but that to Naruto meant nothing. The clan was gone, and it seemed stupid to him that the value of a person had to be influenced by the family, rather than by personal accomplishments. Besides, Naruto could say he knew Sasuke better than anybody else, because they were teammates and tentatively, even friends. He knew what Sasuke thought of this worshipping thing the village reserved him.

It had taken a lot of fighting involved, but once he had goaded him enough, Sasuke had been willing to talk, if only to vent.

Naruto now could say he understood Sasuke a little more, and even if there was still some discomfort about the way everybody kept Sasuke on a pedestal, Naruto had learned that being worshipped like that didn’t really make Sasuke any happier and if anything, the two of them were equally messed up in different ways.

The ANBU only glanced up once, surprising Naruto who quickly looked away, and then returned to stare at Sasuke; Naruto took a deep breath, and tried to relax on the bed. Receiving attention like this from such a shinobi made him anxious, and he wasn’t sure this was good.

He was unable to really rest with the man still in the room, but the silence wasn’t unwelcome. If Sasuke was going to receive visits things would not remain quiet for long.

“It is very pathetic,” the ANBU finally spoke, voice soft but steely.

Naruto looked at him again, straining his neck a bit. He wondered if the man was talking about him, or the situation, or…

“Has no one realised the foolishness that this boy has fallen into?” the ANBU continued, making his way back towards Naruto’s bed. Once there, he knelt down, until he was the same eye level with the teen.

This close, Naruto was finally able to see the mask for what it was, and recognise the animal it represented.

It was a panther.

“You did, though, did you?” the ANBU’s voice snapped Naruto out of his stupor again. “And yet you chased him, and you did not stop until you had him back in Konoha”.

Naruto was taken aback by the fact that the cold tone of the man’s voice had disappeared now that he was talking to him, replaced with something else. Not quite warmth, but definitely nothing mean.

The ANBU was speaking to him without hatred.

Then, the words registered into Naruto’s mind, and he blinked. Foolishness. Yes, Sasuke had been foolish. He had tried to leave Konoha following the wrong lead, seeking the wrong kind of power. It was surprising someone who wasn’t one of Naruto’s important people agreed with him about it, though.

“Can you sit up?” not allowing Naruto time to ponder over what he had said, the man waited expectantly for his answer, still kneeling next to the bed.

The tone was still calm, void of anger, and Naruto wondered if he was being lulled into a false sense of security or if he could actually relax.

This man was an ANBU, and if he had wanted to hurt him, he could have done so without even trying –Naruto was tired and injured, after all– but he seemed calm, and not threatening anymore despite being still imposing.

The teen cleared his throat, feeling as if any kind of verbal reply would crush and destroy this strange sort of friendliness the man was showing him, and attempted to push himself up to a sitting position; his body felt heavy and tired and achy, but he managed to get himself halfway up before his head started to spin, turning the edges of his vision black.

He groaned softly and stopped, ready to lower himself back on the mattress, but without warning a hand secured itself around his back, aiding him up until he was sitting on the bed, his pillow comfortably cushioning him from the cold wall.

The position felt good, he could breathe better and it didn’t hurt, so he graced the man with a grateful smile.

The comforting hand on his shoulder moved away, but the ANBU did not stand up from his kneeling position. If Naruto didn’t know any better, he could have thought the older shinobi was concerned about him, which was nice but improbable.

“Are you feeling better now?” the ANBU asked him, the sound of his voice vaguely soothing. Naruto nodded, grinning sheepishly.

The ANBU’s eyes moved down his frame, observing the bandages, then hissed in displeasure as he noticed that one of Naruto’s wounds on his back had reopened, soaking them with blood. Naruto looked down, wincing, then shrugged.

He was aware that he wasn’t in a good shape, but his wounds would close themselves up pretty quickly, and he did not want to be subjected to more glares from the nurses because he was asking for a change of bandages. Maybe he’d just wait for Iruka to come and help instead… he was about to tell the ANBU he would get that fixed soon, but then noticed how his hands were clenched into fists. If he hadn’t been wearing gloves, Naruto was sure the knuckles would be white.

Was he angry? Was it because of the wound or…

Honestly, he had just met the man. He couldn’t be angry on his behalf, but maybe ANBU were more neutral than he had thought, and they considered him just like any other shinobi, rather than the Kyuubi container. That would be a pleasant change…

“Uzumaki Naruto,” the ANBU finally stood up, and looked down at him. Naruto gulped uneasily at his tone. “My name is _Hyoodoku_ , and I am the Commander of the ANBU troops”.

This wasn’t entirely a surprise for Naruto –the man was oozing power, and he would have been a fool not to notice it. Still… this man was _The_ Commander of the ANBU.

He had heard so many stories in regards to this person. All shinobi from Konoha knew of this name, and the amount of things Naruto heard even at Ichiraku Ramen, when older Jounin teamed together for a meal, was astonishing.

Naruto had always looked up to strong ninja like Jiraiya or Kakashi, but there was indeed a good deal of awe left for the many tales surrounding this ANBU commander. And now he was standing there in his hospital room, and Naruto felt a jolt of smugness at the thought that _he_ was the one awake to talk to him, and Sasuke was still asleep. Take _that_ , Sasuke.

He couldn’t wait to tell Shikamaru that he’d met the ANBU commander!

His next words came as a complete shock.

“I am offering you a chance to join the ANBU ranks”.

Naruto’s brain stuttered to a sudden halt.

What…?

He looked up at the blank mask, asking for confirmation, but the eyes peeking from behind were serious and dark.

“Wait… _what?!_ ”

…–…–…–…

Iruka was, unfortunately, not a morning person.

Being a teacher also meant he had to wake up early, if he wanted to get to the academy in time to get things ready for his students, and today was no exception.

The dreaded practice day with weaponry was waiting for him at the Academy, and he had yet to wake up properly; his thoughts on the cup of coffee he would get once he got there, Iruka walked down the streets of Konoha, stretching his sleepy muscles slowly.

He really wasn’t looking forwards to his kids handling a bunch of shuriken.

Konohamaru wouldn’t be much trouble, the kid usually trained by himself during his free time, together with Moegi and Udon, and even if his aim wasn’t the best, at least he had some prior practice that could help, but the rest of the class was comprised mostly by civilian kids learning how to be a ninja, and most of them had no knowledge whatsoever.

It was not a happy prospect.

“Iruka-sensei!”

Iruka inwardly cringed as he heard Sakura’s voice; she was exuberant from the early morning without fail, and while she had been one of his best students at the academy, sometimes he still thought she was far too cheerful so early on.

He stopped and waited for her, rubbing his temple and pasting a smile on his lips.

“Sakura, it is pretty early,” he greeted her. “Did you sleep last night?”

She seemed fine, with no trace of the tears and red eyes from the night before, so he guessed that she was motivated and ready to tackle things with her teammates, which was good for her. Iruka was proud she was taking the initiative.

“Don’t worry for me, sensei,” she told him mock-serious, then smiled. “I had a good night’s sleep but was feeling too antsy to wait any longer, so I thought I could go see Naruto and Sasuke now… but… sensei, are _you_ ok? You look tired”.

Iruka smiled at her, amused at her worry. “Don’t worry, it’s just that today is target practice day, and… well, you do remember what happened when you were my student, do you?”

Sakura flushed crimson and suddenly seemed to find her feet more interesting, shuffling awkwardly at the embarrassing memories of her own first target practice. “L-let’s not dwell on such old memories, right? Iruka-sensei?” she cleared her throat. “I have become good with shuriken now!”

“Yeah, I am sure you have,” he replied with a proud smile, and she peered up at him, grinning sheepishly. “But the hospital is the opposite way, so why are you here?”

Sakura’s face turned annoyed. “I met Kakashi-sensei on the way there, he sent me on an errand for him… here, he said to give you this,” Sakura handed him a small package she’d been holding until then, and Iruka took it with a confused frown, wondering about its contents.

Hatake Kakashi and himself were not really on friendly terms, as they only ever spoke in regards to Naruto’s welfare, and Iruka was still a bit annoyed at the man’s uncaring attitude in general, so he was definitely curious, and wary, about what the package was all about.

“Thank you, Sakura,” he smiled at her. “I have to hurry now, or I will, how dreadful, miss practice day,” Sakura giggled. “Will you tell Naruto that I will be there once I’m out from work?”

“Of course, sensei!” Sakura saluted him and hurried away, and he was left staring at her retreating back for the second time in two days.

Sakura was a nice girl, especially when she tried to fix things on her own, so he hoped her visit would at least mend things between Team7.

He examined the package with perplexity, and as he did so he noticed with the corner of his eye a figure flickering past the rooftop of a house at his right. With a shrug, he put the mystery package under his arm and resumed his walk towards the Academy.

He guessed he would have to try and open it during his lunch-break, unless something bad happened during practice and he had to forego his lunch to tend to his students (it wouldn’t be the first time this happened, after all), and he could go holding his curiosity for a bit longer.

All the while, he was aware of a pair of eyes following him from the roofs.

His morning stretched on slowly, but Iruka was used to the pace, and in the past years had learned to enjoy it. It was a privilege of the teacher to unnerve students, keep them on their toes and popping unexpected quiz questions on them when they didn’t listen.

It was a part of Iruka that would never be fully forgotten –he was a prankster, always had been, and while he had been forced to grow up and mature too quickly, that part had grown with him.

With the death of his parents, Iruka had to take care of himself, and sought attention in the same way Naruto had done, which was what had brought the two of them together, in the end. The desperate need to mess with people was still alive within it, and he felt absolutely no shame in keeping on edge his students.

After all, no teacher could be strict all the time, without coming to care and think about his students, and this way Iruka kept a balanced mix of respect and fear from them; under the thick layers of responsible acting and strict rules, his mischievous self still demanded some ‘sacrifices’.

Small things –throwing chalk at them when they didn’t pay attention, using his ‘roaring’ voice to scold them… with those he showed who was in control of the class, and gained their respect back when he pulled similar jokes on his fellow teachers, especially those who were less talented at dealing with the kids.

Being a good teacher had its perks.

Unfortunately, he was the one not quite as attentive as he should, as he was still thinking about Naruto, even while teaching class.

Not even that dreaded shuriken practice he had been preparing for throughout the last few weeks could distract him, nor lift his spirits, even though it _did_ help him focus more. He had to… especially when one of his young girls almost successfully managed to chop his head off with a shuriken she was supposed to throw in the opposite direction.

Kids these days…

“Iruka-sensei?”

Iruka was startled out of his thoughts by a chorus of three voices, and he looked down already knowing who they belonged to –Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon.

The sight of the goggles on each of the three students’ foreheads always managed to bring a smile out of Iruka, who knew who they were trying to imitate by using them. Of all the people who believed in Naruto, those three were by far the most sincere ones.

“Konohamaru, go back to your practice,” Iruka told him sternly, his eyes promising one hell of a pain if he were not to follow his order.

Konohamaru yelped and backed away, but then swallowed down his fears and grabbed the Chuunin’s arm, looking up at him pleadingly. “Iruka-sensei, please! I just want to know if we can go see Naruto nii-chan today!”

Iruka’s eyes softened a bit –but just a bit.

“Focus on your throwing practice, Konohamaru, or you will never get out of the academy!” he stated, watching the kid’s face fall. He smiled. “Nothing stops you from going to see Naruto in the hospital this afternoon, though”.

All three kids smiled brightly at him and ran back to their training, clearly happier now as they chatted about what they could bring to their ‘boss’ as a get-well gift.

Iruka’s smile lingered, even if briefly, before he yelled out his encouraging orders at all the kids.

In a world that was dangerous, and implied that a lot of the same kids he was teaching would not last more than a decade, just knowing they had such a fire burning within them made him feel like he was not wasting his life, teaching them the way of the ninja.

He really did love to be a teacher.

…–…–…–…

Naruto stared at the white wall without really seeing it.

He had been staring at it for a while already, almost like it held all the answers to the questions of the universe, and unfortunately he wasn’t nowhere close to understanding them.

The fact was, nothing made sense and he just couldn’t _get it_.

Things like that happened to other people, definitely not to the likes of him. It was like something out of a book or one of the movies he liked when he was little, where the normal hero was given the chance to be something more, something better, and he showed it to everybody.

Only that this time it had happened to him, not to someone else, not to _Sasuke_.

He really did not know what to think about the offer he’d received. It still felt like a dream.

An ANBU, a freaking _ANBU_ –and not just a random one, but Venom Panther… The _Commander_ of the Troops– had offered him a place in their ranks.

He had offered a chance to him.

To _him_ , to Naruto.

Someone had looked at him –at him, not at Sasuke– and had seen enough potential to want to invest on it. Someone had chosen him instead of other people who were probably more skilled or worth it –Neji, who was the strongest genin of the past two years, or Shikamaru, who was the smartest ever, or Sasuke, who had so much to offer.

 _“I am offering you a chance to join the ANBU ranks,”_ Hyoo had said.

ANBU. He had never even _thought_ about an ANBU career, his attention solely focused on the Hokage position, but they had always looked so cool to him, so strong… with their masks, their enormous power, moving through the night like shadows.

He remembered Haku dressed as one, with his imposing mask ( _on his very first real mission, where Naruto had met with Death in its impassive, horrid beauty_ ), and how he’d felt inferior to him… Haku had been an enemy, but he had been strong, and so very cool, and Naruto could look back and admit he’d been just an untrained, embarrassing child. He hoped he had managed to get better since then…

He could understand Haku better now –his reasons, his words from back then. He could see his own stupidity now, the mask that he’d placed over his real self in order to protect his fragile illusions.

He had wanted recognition so badly, nothing else had ever mattered.

What about now?

Someone was giving him the attention he had craved. To him, and only him.

 _“ANBU?”_ Naruto’s voice had trembled, hesitation clear, but the man had not reacted badly to his confusion, and Naruto could have sworn he had been amiably smiling under the panther mask.

 _“I am offering this opportunity to you, Naruto, and to you alone. Obviously not to the Uchiha. Just to you. Because I can see what you can become, given some time. ANBU would accept you with open arms, were you to choose that path to follow. This is where you could belong, and where you could get the training you need to show your true skills”_.

A real training, a place where people could accept him?

Naruto had wanted something like this for all his life, and now that it was being offered to him, he couldn’t help but be hesitant. It was just too good. Did a place that could accept him without him having to prove himself really exist? Just like that?

Was that man just fooling around with him? Was he speaking the truth? Naruto wasn’t as disillusioned as he had once been. He knew that to gain what he wanted, to be acknowledged, he had to make sacrifices, fight his way through with teeth and claws…

Was the offer all there was to it, or… was it not?

Part of him wanted to believe the ANBU and trust him, but he had decided that only trusting his heart would not work that well. He had trusted Sasuke, and had to chase him all the way to the Valley of End to fight against him, all of that just to get him to listen. Not his smartest moment.

“N… Naruto?”

Blinking and resurfacing from his confused thoughts, the teen realised that Sasuke had woken up, and was staring at him from the other end of the room.

Sasuke’s voice was unexpectedly hesitant, a trait that one would not associate with him, honestly, but Naruto understood –he also did not know how to act around him, not after what had happened at the Valley of End.

They looked at each other for a moment, both stuck with feeling somewhat awkward and more than a bit embarrassed. It wasn’t about forgiveness –Naruto had already forgiven Sasuke, and Sasuke, knowing he had been wrong, had forgiven Naruto for butting in.

No, it was about their friendship, and the fact that they were teammates, and more than that, it was because they had been more open with each other than they had been with anybody in a long time, and that messed up the way they acted around each other.

When you confide in someone for the first time, there’s always a moment where you have to find the rhythm again, and Naruto and Sasuke were going through exactly that.

Then the moment passed, and both Naruto and Sasuke felt the air shift around them. They would be ok.

Sasuke stretched his arms slowly, then cracked his neck. “This hospital thing is boring,” he stated, then after a moment of hesitation, he added, “how are you, _dobe_?”

The voice was teasing, with no trace of the previous harshness.

“Better than you I think, _teme,_ ” Naruto shot back, smirking. “You look like a mummy!”

Sasuke snorted softly, then raised one eyebrow, as Naruto was just as covered in bandages as he was. Naruto chuckled sheepishly.

Silence fell on them again, but it wasn’t as tense as it could have been, which was as good as it could be, everything considered. Naruto idly watched dust flutter in front of him, then sighed. “I hope someone brings some food sometimes soon… I’m starving! I’d eat three ramen cups… maybe even four!”

Sasuke’s lips twitched upwards.

The door chose that moment to crack open, as if to answer Naruto’s words, and Sakura stomped in, looking determined but cheerful.

She had been standing outside of their room for a while, not that they could have known, simply psyching herself up for the confrontation.

There had been many things to think about while Naruto and Sasuke had been unconscious in the hospital, and a lot of it had to do with herself. The sense of abandonment she had felt when Sasuke had left, the helplessness of having been unable to help him… and the reassurance Naruto had offered her, despite the way she had treated him before.

Sakura had thought a lot about things.

While the crush she had on Sasuke was still there, she could finally look at it with more rationality, and she felt disappointed in herself for acting like a weak fangirl rather than the kunoichi she was.

And her dislike for Naruto… it had all stemmed from so many places that to try and find when it had started would take far too long. But she did not hate Naruto anymore. If she had to be honest with herself, he had been a bit annoying with his crush on her, but at the same time he had never pushed anything on her, and had always tried to be open and include her in things, even when he and Sasuke kept spurring each other on.

Naruto had been a friend to her, but she had not accepted that, nor the fact that they were teammates. And with Sasuke, she had seen him as her crush first, rather than a person and a teammate. With both she had failed to grasp the real meaning of being in a team, and while she could not make her crush on Sasuke vanish just like that, she was going to act like a more mature person, and work with both of them to restore their friendship instead.

She was a kunoichi. She had chosen this path despite her parents’ attempts to dissuade her, because she knew she wanted to be one. This was supposed to be something Sakura had decided for herself, on her own, not because of some boy or to seem more interesting, and it was time she remembered this.

Just like Naruto, who had never betrayed his word, now Sakura would do the same. She had promised herself she would be a better friend and teammate, and most of all, a better ninja.

If she’d been a friend, instead of a pathetic girl with a crush, maybe she could have understood both her teammates instead of watching them break apart. But no more.

“Good morning!” she tried to sound cheerful as she walked into the room, closing the door behind her back.

For once, her priority was Naruto and that was… refreshing, in a way.

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto’s eyes filled with warmth and happiness, and Sakura felt another pang of guilt.

Yes, things _had_ to change.

Apparently feeling that Sakura was up to something, grunted and looked out of the window, faking disinterest for his teammates’ interaction.

Sakura moved to Naruto’s bed, and she hesitated only a fraction before she punched the teen lightly on the head.

“Ouch!” Naruto winced, not sure what to expect, but when he looked at Sakura again, he saw her holding something out to him. “What’s in there?”

“Ramen, of course,” she made a show of rolling her eyes. “I thought you would be famished and hospital food… doesn’t cut it now, does it?” she smiled a bit, then turned serious, and swallowed thickly on the lump in her throat. “Just consider this a thank you. I haven’t been the best of friends until now, but I will… I will do better, Naruto. Please accept my apologies for asking you to do something for me that I had no rights of asking you, and for treating you like I was above you”.

Naruto grabbed the offered bag with a bright smile, and nudged Sakura’s hand with his own. “Well, I always say everybody deserves a second chance,” he rubbed the bridge of his nose, embarrassed by her words. “We can start again, that would be nice!”

He knew what she meant, and that she was saying she was sorry, and he gladly accepted it, accepted _her_ , because this was Sakura-chan, and he cared for her a lot, and having her say they were friends was way better than the way she had acted earlier on.

She had been his very first crush, and even though he still liked her a lot, it didn’t feel like the kind of like he wanted. Sakura preferred Sasuke, and he could not compete with that. He _wouldn’t_ compete. Not because he was inferior to Sasuke, but because he wished for a kind of love that would be for him first and foremost, not a second best.

And respecting Sakura’s own feelings was the right thing to do.

Maybe in the future, she might come to see him like that, but that was not now, and Naruto did not want to keep his hopes up indefinitely just because there might be an opening in a far future.

Besides, by renouncing to this one-sided love, he was opening himself up to something far more important –her friendship.

To break the silence, he ripped the bag open and took out one of three freshly made, still steaming take-away cups of ramen, directly from his favourite stand.

“Thank you Sakura-chan! Aah, Ichiraku ramen is the best!”

Naruto did the only sensible thing he could, and started to inhale his food, allowing Sakura to move from his side to Sasuke’s. Seeing them talk was a bit bitter, but at the same time he was aware that Sasuke’s first thought was not girls, and he had never shown any sort of interest in Sakura so that made her feelings for him just as one-sided as Naruto’s own for her.

Sakura smiled, grateful that Naruto had managed to understand without so many words, then looked over to where Sasuke was, and walked to him.

There was something she had to say, and acting straightforwardly would be the only way.

She opened her mouth, and in that instant, looking at Sasuke’s face, she knew exactly what the answer would be. She had always known, but the knowledge now surprisingly didn’t hurt as much as she’d thought it would. She bit her lower lip and steadied herself for rejection.

“Sasuke-kun… I like you,” she stated, clear and unashamed, with just a soft dusting of red on her cheeks.

Things would be somewhat awkward, but they would get better.

Giving up on Sasuke, knowing she had never had a chance with him from the very start, was the only thing she could offer in exchange for Naruto’s friendship. And Sasuke’s, too.

The slurping sound from Naruto’s side of the room ceased for a moment but then started again, and Sakura tried to calm her pounding heart.

Sasuke seemed to consider her words carefully, and she was grateful for that. It seemed that being direct gave her a better response from him than acting like a little kid.

“I… I do not like you, Sakura,” he replied, looking right at her, voice steady and even. There was no pity in his tone, nor dislike, but also there was no opening for hope either. He was responding to her direct approach by being honest and clear, so she would not get her hopes up in vain.

Sakura nodded, her lower lip trembling just the slightest bit. “No chance that you might change idea?” she asked then, and her voice was strangely steady.

Still looking right into her eyes, Sasuke shook his head. “No, I don’t think so,” he replied. Then, in a show of good will, he decided to continue. “You are aware of what my goals are, Sakura. Right now, there is no place for anything else in my life, I hope you can respect that”.

Sakura had always thought that if she ever was rejected by her love, she’d feel like the world had crumbled on her. She’d thought that it would hurt so much, and that was why she had never openly confessed, putting her feelings down in front of him –she had been hiding behind her attraction to Sasuke, afraid that he would do just that… reject her.

Strangely, it didn’t feel like that at all. Her heart missed a beat, yes, but it didn’t stop all of sudden.

The world didn’t end. It was just the end of… her crush.

“Then… can we be friends?” she asked, breathing deeply.

Sasuke stared at her, inwardly surprised that she was willing to put aside her crush (at least in theory), but positively impressed that with how much shit this team had gone through, they had only ended up being closer.

He nodded. “Yeah,” he murmured, looking out of the window. “Sure”.

Sakura smiled, reassured by his calm acceptance, and from the other end of the room, Naruto also felt his lips twitch into a smile as he slurped down a mouthful of noodles.

This sounded like a turning point for Team7…

_BAM!_

The door slammed open without warning, banging loudly against the wall as a man entered the room like a living tornado, effectively breaking the contemplative, thoughtful mood that had settled on the three.

Jiraiya straightened his back, puffing his chest out with an aura of importance and self-esteem, bouncing towards Naruto’s bed with an overly stretched smile on his lips, completely ignoring the two teens on the other side of the room.

He always knew how to make an entrance.

Suffocating on a mouthful of ramen, Naruto started coughing loudly, staring in surprise at his mentor, the situation between Sasuke and Sakura momentarily forgotten.

“I, Jiraiya the toad sennin, have arrived!” the Sennin smirked proudly.

Silence greeted him, and the man turned around to look at the other two teens in the room before looking back down at Naruto. All three members of Team7 were staring at him with a weird look in their eyes.

Coughing discreetly, Jiraiya shrugged it off like he did every time he announced himself, and his mood shifted abruptly to a serious one, observing the young teen on the bed with concern.

Flopping down on the chair next to his pupil’s bed, he asked, “How are you feeling, Naruto?”

Sasuke, Sakura, and ramen forgotten in a second, Naruto smiled one of his rare, real smiles at the Sennin, the kind of calm, meaningful grin he only reserved to the people he considered closest to him. “I’m fine, Ero–sennin,” he replied, more to reassure the man than anything else.

In a way, both of them knew Jiraiya needed to hear this from him.

“How many times did I tell you I don’t want you to call me that, you brat?” the man growled, though there was a small smile on his lips.

Naruto chuckled; he knew Jiraiya was strong, but that didn’t mean he was not a pervert. Thus he would never stop calling him like that. Besides, both knew it was more an endearment than anything else.

“Well, let’s cut the chase,” Jiraiya puffed his chest out, tapping it with one hand. “I have come here with an offer. You are hereby allowed to follow the greatest ninja walking on the elemental countries for training, which is to say, me!” he couldn’t have looked more pompous if he had tried. “I want you to join me for my next trip outside of Konoha, Naruto. You will train under my tutelage for the next three years, becoming the new pupil of the Hermit Toad Sennin!”

For the second time in less than two hours, Naruto was left speechless.

“Whaaat?!”

…–…–…–…

The hospital room was silent.

Naruto was left alone with his thoughts again, which were now even messier than before, so he did need some time to sort through them.

Sakura had gone home, humbled by finding out that the perverted old man who had offered training to Naruto was actually one of the strongest ninja from Konoha, and Sasuke had been taken away for questioning.

After all, even if Naruto had vouched for him, and Tsunade trusted him, that did not mean she trusted Sasuke, not to mention an attempt at betraying the village was no easy feat, and she needed to act accordingly to the gravity of the matter.

That left Naruto alone enough for him to think things through.

Jiraiya had offered to train him. He had said that in front of his teammates, and that said volumes of the man’s intentions.

Before, he had grumbled even just at the thought of helping Naruto learn a jutsu, and now he was offering him not just a few hours of training, but full apprenticeship.

Three years.

And they would be away from Konoha.

Naruto supposed it was a good thing. It meant he would get to be trained by an awesome shinobi, one of the best… even if he _was_ a pervert… it was a chance neither Sasuke nor Sakura could have.

He should have been bouncing in happiness, and yet… he wasn’t as excited at the news as he’d thought he would be.

He had opened his mouth to reply, but nothing had come out, and he had fallen silent, eyes wide in surprise, knowing that his silence had worried his teammates and also Jiraiya.

Was it so wrong he had faltered rather than answer a resounding ‘yes’?

The look of hurt in Jiraiya’s eyes at his lack of an answer had made Naruto feel massively guilty. The man had offered him training, and apprenticeship, and Naruto… Naruto hadn’t refused, yes, but he hadn’t jumped at the chance either.

Naruto clenched his hand into a fist, glaring down at it with a frown. He wanted to agree, but… but then the ANBU’s words had superimposed on Jiraiya’s offer, and that had stopped him.

All excitement had vanished from him, and he’d been left with nothing but confusion and longing.

 _“I have to think about it,”_ he had muttered instead, surprising the Sennin, Sasuke and even Sakura, who had been staring at him with worry.

Naruto chuckled bitterly, looking down at the pendant he wore around his neck –the necklace Tsunade had given him glinted softly when it caught a stray ray of light.

He was confused. He didn’t know what to do –where was his determination now? Why did he even _want_ to consider becoming an ANBU?

Maybe because Hyoo had spoken to him seriously, confidentially, openly.

Maybe because he was more tired than he could admit… even to himself.

Did he really want to move down that path? As an ANBU?

 _‘Do I really know what it means to be an ANBU?’_ he wondered, closing his eyes. _‘Have a secret life, of which I cannot speak with anyone? Something private, sacred…’_ but he already had a secret he could not reveal, even though the burden was sometimes enough to make him cringe.

And then, he’d have to kill if things came down to that. Right? ANBU were supposed to know how to kill.

 _‘It’s one thing to declare to be a ninja, say you can kill and delude yourself you can, and another is to actually do it and accept what you’ve done’_.

He was not sure who’d said that. He supposed it could have been Iruka, or maybe another one of the academy teachers, but the words had burned themselves in his mind, and now resurfaced with even greater clarity.

If given no other choice, Naruto had always reassured himself that in order to protect his precious people he _would_ kill. It had never happened –not yet– but would he really be able to live with that burden?

Besides, what if killing came as a mission requirement, and not to protect someone he cared for? What if it was just to protect himself, or the mission. Or just because it was an enemy that had to die.

He’d always tried not to think about it, but he couldn’t run away from the thought anymore, now.

It was important.

 _‘Am I really that good of a ninja?’_ Naruto looked out of the window, following a butterfly fly by until the animal disappeared behind the corner.

Unbidden, a memory of Sarutobi’s face slowly resurfaced from the depths of his mind.

The Sandaime had visited the academy to make a speech to Naruto’s class, but the kids (most of them at least) were not paying attention. Naruto had been doodling on his desk, but then something in the Hokage’s tone had attracted his attention.

 _“You might be far too young to understand my words, for now,”_ the man had said, smiling gently. _“Being a shinobi means you might have to make a decision between your life and the life of someone else. Facing dangers, missions where it’s either your life, or that of your enemy. The enemy of one day might then become the ally of another, too… the balance between an assassin, a ninja, is determined by that person’s heart, will and strength, and how far he is willing to go in order to protect what’s important for him”._

Back then, Naruto had only been thinking about the excitement that being a ninja would bring to him, he’d been more focused on the ‘dangers and missions’ than on the ‘it’s your life or that of your enemy’. He had ignored the seriousness of the Hokage’s words…

Now things had changed. He could understand what the man had meant.

Then what?

ANBU or three years with Jiraiya? Was that his choice? What would change in his life if he chose one path instead of the other?

Closing his eyes, Naruto let himself fall back on the mattress, not even wincing as the pain was almost completely gone already.

This decision would prove to be rather complicated, after all…


	3. Understand

…–…–…–…–…–…–…

**Chapter 03: Understand**

“He didn’t answer, Tsunade!”

Jiraiya refused to look at the Hokage.

Hands clenched into fists at his sides, head lowered so Tsunade couldn’t see his conflicted expression, Jiraiya was trying to hide his hurt and his anger from his former teammate.

“His eyes were obviously bright at the prospect of coming with me,” he spit out after a short moment of silence, his frown so deep it showed more than a couple new wrinkles. “But then… he stopped. I _know_ he was about to accept, Tsunade! And then he _didn’t_! Just like that, he calmed down, hesitated, then he said he needed _time_ to think about it!”

If he had to be honest with himself, something that came hard to him, Jiraiya would admit he was not jealous, nor angry.

Well, no, that wasn’t true. He was angry, just a little bit. He should have known better than to feel betrayed by the fact that Naruto had failed to act like he had predicted he would. No, that was normal. Naruto was a teenager, and they were unpredictable…

No. He was angry simply because of that one look Naruto had given him before mentioning he needed time. He had looked confused. Uncertain.

Yes, maybe the man would have preferred to have a joyous, spontaneous reaction that could reassure him about just how much Naruto wanted to be his apprentice, but… if Naruto, of all people, was thinking about things instead of rushing through them with haste, then…

Then it meant there _were_ serious issues that _needed_ to be faced. And Jiraiya did not like that even someone like Naruto had seen it, but he, the great Sennin, had once again failed to face them.

Tsunade looked down at her hands, not knowing what to say. She had not expected Naruto’s blatant lack of reaction either, and she could understand Jiraiya’s pain, but her gut feeling gnawing at her kept telling her about a different reason for his hesitance, one she was afraid to contemplate.

Sounding desperate, Jiraiya turned around. “Naruto needs this. Not just for his own protection, but to learn things he wouldn’t if he remained in the village, Tsunade. I could see the hesitation in his eyes, and yet…”

“Don’t you think I _know_ , Jiraiya?” she snapped at him, not liking his tone.

It was too bad, really, that more than Jiraiya’s thoughts on the matter, she was thinking at Hyoo’s words. She did not like it, but maybe they held some truth. Naruto did need a break, a place safe away from the village where he could learn how to harness his skills without having to worry about anything, but… maybe that did not mean leaving the village to go on a journey was the right way.

A part of her cringed at thinking that, but it made her feel somewhat better. That did not mean she wanted him to have a go at the ANBU either. Unfortunately she could not ask someone like Jiraiya to stay in Konoha just to help Naruto, as he had his own job that he was needed to do.

But she had to ask. “Jiraiya,” she looked up at him abruptly, brown eyes serious, willing him to understand. “If Naruto… if he were to accept Hyoo’s offer… would you be willing to stay here to help?”

The sennin froze.

Tsunade knew she was asking him too much. Not just because of his information network, which he kept running from his various bases around the lands, but also because… well, she knew he wanted to leave still. The man knew, deep down, that running didn’t accomplish anything, and yet he was too used to running away, so even small little steps were met with stubborn reluctance. Naruto had helped with this, but Tsunade was not sure that would be enough.

Tsunade had to wonder if Jiraiya was trying to get Naruto to follow him in the vain attempt to see if the teen was really like him; but he wasn’t. Tsunade knew this. Naruto was not Jiraiya, just like he was not Tsunade, either.

And despite all the resemblances with his parents, with how brash and lively he was, just like Kushina, and the twinkle of his father’s genius echoing in his eyes, Naruto was not them either.

He was growing to be his own person, and they had to accept it.

“Don’t tell me you agree with the ANBU now?” Jiraiya snarled, hiding his growing distress under a blanket of rage.

She shook his head. “Kami knows I don’t want him to. But if that’s what he chooses, then… I won’t stop him. It’s his life, Jiraiya, he will need to make his own decisions, make his own mistakes…” she halted, then, softly, she added, “it won’t do for him to repeat ours”.

Jiraiya accused the blow, leaning on the wall for support and refusing to look at her.

He opened his mouth twice to speak again, to defend himself, to negate what Tsunade was implying, but found no energy to do so. She was right.

He could not protect Naruto forever, especially if the way he was trying to protect him was by making him act like himself.

“He’s going to be released from the hospital in a few hours,” Tsunade said after a long pause, not looking up from her desk. “Kyuubi’s healing power kicked in earlier today, and his wounds are completely healed already. Maybe he’d like to see you again”.

Jiraiya straightened up, hesitating.

“No. I will give him time to decide for himself which offer to take. It wouldn’t do to mess with the kid’s mind more”.

The two Sannin finally looked up and their gazes met. They suddenly felt really, really old.

…–…–…–…

Leaving the hospital put Naruto in a very good mood.

Being idle for too long was not really his thing, and he missed running around and training already, so as he stepped out from the hospital front doors, he had plans for the day already.

“Oi Naruto!”

Looking up, Naruto found three of his friends waiting for him outside, and he smiled brightly at them.

It looked like they were fine despite their own fights, and that made his worry lessen.

Neji had arrived at the hospital depleted of chakra and with all tenketsu points almost completely exhausted, but after some intensive care he looked just fine; he was going to have to rest for a while still, but the medic-nin had done wonders for him.

Shikamaru was the one who had been physically hurt the least, and only had a couple bandages on his arms, but he looked pensive and serious, and his mood made Naruto worry for him instantly.

The lazy butt was clearly bothered by something, but knowing him he would not share his worries until he had come up with a proper explanation, which made Naruto tense up a bit.

Last but not least, there was Kiba, leaning against the wall of the hospital and looking almost naked without his usual hood and Akamaru on his shoulder; the dog had been left at home with Kiba’s older sister Hana, forced to rest after his battle. Kiba looked a bit battered still, but he was smirking, which Naruto took to mean he was feeling better.

The sight filled Naruto with relief, as it had been his fault his friends had been hurt.

As he approached them, the three stared at him, almost as if appraising his health, and when they decided he didn’t have any lasting damage that they could see, they all relaxed, and even Shikamaru’s frown smoothed out.

“Nice to see you out of that stinking place, Naruto!” Kiba patted his back in a show of camaraderie. “Is everything ok? Oh, is the prick still in the hospital?”

Naruto smirked and pushed a thumb to his chest. “I’m always fine, Kiba! Nothing can keep me down, I’m a fast healer. And yeah, he’s still recovering”. He paused, then glanced at the three. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

Kiba shrugged, pointing at himself as if that was enough of an answer.

He had been deathly worried for his friends and Akamaru back at home, but seeing Naruto this boisterous and smiling put his worries to rest.

Neji offered him a smile. It was still somewhat awkward to push aside his usual cold attitude, but he had to admit that having friends to worry about made it a bit easier. He hadn’t felt at peace for a long time, but lately he had started to think that things were definitely getting better.

He had emerged victorious from his brutal fight, with a burning desire to not just grow stronger, but also learn more about himself, and his own goals. He was glad that his companions were also fine, and that the frail friendship he’d formed with them was allowed to grow.

Shikamaru observed Kiba and Naruto’s idle chat, scratching his head and keeping quiet. His shoulders were heavy with guilt, coming back almost unscathed from their mission only to see his friends all hurt, but seeing as they had succeeded, he was grateful. He did not know what could have happened if the rescue mission had failed, but thankfully he would never know.

They had not failed. Sasuke had been taken back, and Naruto was still smiling.

Shikamaru thought back at what his sensei had said –that this would be a lesson for him, to learn from what he perceived as mistakes in order to become a better ninja, a better strategist, and slowly straightened his back, resolve turning into steel.

He would never let his friends down ever again.

“Are you going home now, Naruto?” he asked, slouching down again.

Naruto turned towards him and smiled, sheepish. “Not really, no! I am hungry, and I’ve missed Ichiraku’s ramen so much!”

Which was the truth –the cups Sakura had brought him had sustained him to face the hospital food, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want more. Besides, he had the feeling that if he stopped to think about the ANBU’s offer, and Jiraiya’s, he would not feel good for a while, so he was planning to eat first, act like nothing was wrong, and then face things afterwards.

There were also other things to ponder about. What to do about Akatsuki, what to do about Sasuke, what to do about… everything. Just because he had won this time did not mean he wouldn’t have to fight soon, and falling into a false sense of security would be his downfall.

Would Orochimaru attempt to lure Sasuke away again? Naruto trusted his friend, but he did not trust Orochimaru, or Kabuto.

He could not let himself believe that everything was fine anymore.

What did he accomplish? He had reached Sasuke by sheer luck, and the fact that he had accepted to come back was good, but he couldn’t take praise for that. There was nothing to boast about. He wasn’t strong enough to back up his claims.

“Wish I could join you, but mom said to come straight home after meeting you, sorry mutt,” Kiba elbowed him in the side, smirking at him. “But what about celebration ramen tomorrow? What’d ya say??”

Naruto’s eyes lit up at the prospect. “I’m in!”

Shikamaru snorted but nodded his consent; he wondered if Chouji would be up to join them as well.

Neji also nodded, grateful he had been included in the friendly meet-up.

It felt good to belong –not just to his team, but also to a group of _friends_.

The four split up, each of them going into a different direction, and Naruto walked towards the ramen stand feeling lighter. His friends were doing ok, and they were going to spend time together (with ramen!) the following day, and that was… good. More than good.

Slowly, day after day, he was gaining acknowledgement from more and more people, and who cared if most of the village still disliked him?

He would slowly win them all over.

For now, he had his friends, Iruka–sensei, Jiraiya the pervert, Tsunade obaa–chan…

The rest of them would come with time.

“Naruto,” a deep voice coming from behind him startled him out of his thoughts.

He didn’t even have to turn around to recognise who had spoken. He could not forget that voice –it was the ANBU who had visited him at the hospital.

Naruto’s excitement over the prospect of eating ramen quickly disappeared, and he suddenly felt overly embarrassed for some reason; he still felt uneasy around the ANBU, for no particular reason, and it was only because he had been with Kiba until moments before that he could finally think up of a comparison –he felt like a pup next to a feral, adult wolf. Or well, a panther.

A feral panther that was not showing any sort of aggressive behaviour towards him, and that confused him. He was used to adults treating him with scorn, or like he was invisible, but there was something about Hyoodoku’s focus on him that made him feel suddenly in the centre of attention, and it was unnerving.

“Ah, err, hello!” he greeted, halting mid-step and finding himself swiftly heading towards his apartment instead. “I mean. Good morning,” he corrected himself.

Although the man did not laugh at him, Naruto could almost sense the smile under that mask; fighting the urge to shift away from the imposing figure of the ANBU at his side, Naruto wondered how did it look like from an outsider point of view, watching the village demon’s container and the respectable ANBU commander walking side by side.

It probably looked like he was being escorted somewhere, or just really strange.

“Maybe not as strange as you think”.

Naruto’s eyes widened. _‘Is he reading my mind?!’_

Hyoo smirked under the mask at the teen’s astonished expression. “ANBU don’t walk through the village like that, so we might attract some unwanted attention, but there are no rules about who we can interact with”.

Naruto was now absolutely sure the man was smiling. Too bad he couldn’t see his face.

Still, the casual reply soothed his worries, and even though he still felt awkward, he relaxed a bit, walking idly down the street as the ANBU matched his pace.

The silence between them stretched on, and not liking it Naruto cleared his throat, searching for something to say. “Why a panther?” he found himself asking.

A split second later, he covered his mouth with one hand, feeling stupid.

That wasn’t really a question one could ask an ANBU, let alone the commander of the corps, ri0ght?

Nonetheless, the man didn’t seem to mind his curiosity at all, and Naruto felt a bit relieved.

“Panthers are lethal animals. They can hide themselves in the shadows and attack their prey without warning or sound –moving like silk, mortal and deathly,” the ANBU replied. “I thought it was pretty neat if I could get my enemies to think of me as one”.

Naruto stared at the man in awe. He had received a clear answer without being reprimanded for his curiosity, and the man didn’t even seem angry about it… besides, his words held pride for his mask choice, and Naruto could admit that it was a fitting choice for the man.

Mood cheerful once more, Naruto smiled up at the ANBU. One of the things everybody knew about the corps was that each of them was allowed to choose the traits of an animal for their mask, and their training often tried to mimic motions and styles that would remind opponents of that animal.

Hyoo’s words held no arrogance to them, either.

“Each ANBU member receives a blank mask to paint, to symbolise their inner traits and power, so that the mask will reflect them for others to see –like a mirror of their soul,” Hyoo continued, eyeing Naruto’s reaction curiously.

Considering the man’s words for a moment, Naruto’s face twisted into a grimace, before the teen schooled it back to show indifference. “I guess I would be pretty boring then, with a fox mask,” he shrugged, trying to sound casual.

It wasn’t like being constantly compared to a fox was an insult for him. There were many characteristics that Naruto shared with that animal, and not just because he was the host of a fox demon… but it _did_ annoy him that he would be forever associated to the Kyuubi no Kitsune, no matter what he could do.

Despite that, if things came down to that he would learn to use that to his advantage. He didn’t want to be known for the skills of the stupid fox, so if the chance arose, he would definitely pick something else, _anything_ else.

“Who said that?”

The carefree tone of the ANBU shocked Naruto just as much as the words he’d spoken; he wondered how a killer could look so detached and sound so carefree whenever he wanted, but then he reminded himself that ANBU at least had a mask, while people like Kakashi-sensei or Jiraiya didn’t even have one, and they could move from cheerful to dangerous when the need arose.

A person didn’t need a real mask in order to hide who they really were.

“Well, I’m… I mean, I’m the Kyuubi’s vessel, so–” a hand rose to his face, stopping him.

“Exactly. You are its vessel. Whatever trait you were told you had in common with the creature you host has nothing to do with who you are,” the mask tilted slightly, and Naruto had the impression the ANBU was pointing at where his seal was. “You are you, and the demon is the demon. You don’t have to feel like you should associate with images that tie you to Kyuubi simply because you are what keeps it caged”.

During the first few days after Mizuki revealed to him that he hosted Kyuubi inside him, Naruto had often wondered just how much of what shinobi and villagers thought of him was the truth. He had agonized over whether he was the demon, really, not just its container –if they were all so convinced of it, was Naruto just fooling himself?

Then Sandaime had explained it to him in a way that he could understand. A sealing scroll was still just a scroll, it did not become the object it had sealed within it. Like a bowl was still a bowl, not the ramen it contained. And that was the same for Naruto. Just because he hosted Kyuubi did not make him Kyuubi at the same time.

And yet it seemed such a hard thing for most people to understand, that hearing Hyoo say it so casually made Naruto feel once again unbalanced. It seemed to be a common reaction to the ANBU’s words.

“If you want others to realise that you are not the demon, if you want people to consider you for who _you_ are, then you have to be the first to realise that the demon does not define you. You have to recognise the things you accomplished by yourself, and keep working with your own strengths”.

“I–” Naruto did not know what to say.

The ANBU stopped, and looked down at him. Naruto swallowed and looked up, meeting the eyes behind the mask.

“Once you are aware of where the demon ends and your own self starts, then you will be able to find your own strength, and with your sheer will, I don’t see why you wouldn’t become a strong ninja on your own. This is why I offered you to enter the ANBU. Our methods might be brutal, but it is through harsh training that you can find your own limits and overcome them. That is what we offer to you –a way to unlock your potential and let it grow”.

Naruto looked away, mulling over his words, then dared to ask the only question he had been thinking about ever since Hyoo had given him his offer. “Why?”

_Why me, why go out of your way to explain yourself, why indulge my questions, why… why?_

Hyoo sighed.

This boy, even if he did not know it yet, was the Yondaime’s legacy. The Hokage had sacrificed his life to try and save his son and the village, and even if his idea had been for Konoha to see Naruto as a hero, things had not gone the way he had hoped they would.

And yet, despite that, Hyoo had seen how someone hailed as a prodigy by the village had turned out. It was a miracle Naruto was still willing to fight for Konoha, instead of wanting to leave.

Naruto had enough determination to control and tame the beast, and he was strong enough on his own to show that the demon wasn’t what gave him power, but…

He was supposed to be _happy_. Despite everything, Naruto was supposed to have a normal life, not this.

What was the point of this all if Yondaime’s son couldn’t even live his life as he was supposed to?

He shouldn’t question Hyoo’s honesty. He shouldn’t be used to being treated poorly simply because of the demon.

Hyoo felt anger bubble under his usual calm composure, and he forced it away. “I could tell you that I’m simply looking forwards to seeing how strong you can be if you channel your energies in the right way, or that I think you’d grow to be strong and I want to add you to my squads,” he said, looking ahead towards the busy streets of the village, “but the truth is simpler, and it might be less interesting because of that. I just think it would be a waste to prevent you from achieving your dreams because you were not given the chance to show what you’re made of”.

“… oh”.

Naruto was once again at loss of words. Hyoo said it was a simple thing, but to him it meant everything. He had always had to fight to have what for others was a given, and it was as simple as that –Hyoo was treating him like any other person. Not because he was special, but simply because he had the right to have a chance he wouldn’t get otherwise.

He started walking again, and the ANBU followed him at his pace. Something had changed though, and even as they fell silent, he did not feel as fidgety and awkward as before. The ANBU at his side didn’t feel like an imposing, scary figure anymore –his presence now was almost comforting.

 _‘I deserve a chance,’_ Naruto found himself grinning. _‘He didn’t put me down, he simply thought I would do well, and offered me the place to try it. He trusts me enough to say I can become strong, and that’s all’_.

It was a weird thing. Iruka had only started to believe in him because he had seen him go against Mizuki. Ebisu hadn’t even wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Jiraiya had dropped him more than once to do things on his own, and had only started to believe in him after Naruto had surprised him. Even Tsunade had looked down on him until he had shown her the Rasengan. Kakashi… Kakashi-sensei had thought he wasn’t even worth training for the matches, because of Sasuke. He wondered if he had changed idea now that Sasuke was back from his attempt at defection.

But all of them had only seen Naruto after he had proven himself to be better than their assumptions. He had done nothing to impress Hyoo, and he still put his faith in Naruto’s growth.

The ANBU commander trusted him ahead of time.

“You have continuously fought to have what others consider a given,” Hyoo broke the silence, almost as if reading Naruto’s mind again. “You deserve the same as them. Still, the fact that you’ve had to fight for everything makes you, in a way, stronger than most”.

Everyone had always more or less implied that to get what he wanted –attention, acknowledgement– he’d have to fight for every bit of it. And now this man was saying that he deserved it –without favouritism or antagonism.

Naruto could also see what he meant, though. For every small achievement he’d had to fight his hardest, and that gave him an edge, because he was used to working hard for the things he wanted. He was not afraid of training to the point of exhaustion.

He could see how things worked better than most, he could use this edge to exploit a situation so that it would benefit him, because he could see a side of people that most could not.

“Ero–sennin… _no!_ I mean, Jiraiya,” he hastily corrected himself, not wanting to badmouth the sennin in front of an ANBU guard, “he said he wanted me to join him as his apprentice. Away from Konoha, for three years”.

He hadn’t really wanted to tell that to the ANBU, but he still did. He guessed that the ANBU wouldn’t hold it against him for having another option to choose from.

“Oh, that is a honour,” the ANBU had known Jiraiya would make his countermove. After all, it was only fair. “Is that what you want then?”

Naruto hesitated.

“I want to be stronger… that’s something I’ve always wanted,” he replied hesitantly. “Maybe this time he would concentrate on me instead of doing his research… last time I had to work all on my own,” he muttered, referring to the way Jiraiya had only given him a hint to learn the Rasengan steps, and then had left to ‘gather some info at the local onsen’.

The sennin wasn’t really a bad teacher –Naruto was aware the man had just wanted to test him and keep him busy, and that was coupled with the fact that he was pretty sure Jiraiya lacked people skills, or just his ‘interact–with–teenagers’ skills were sort of lacking. Either way, he could understand his motives, and had it been any other person but Naruto, he guessed it would have been effective.

But it wasn’t. Not with him. Naruto had never had positive attention given to him, and Jiraiya’s careless attitude only enraged him and made him feel uncared for. He guessed he just had bad luck with teachers, after Iruka-sensei. Kakashi had done the same, after all.

Maybe he was cursed with the ‘teachers-who-think-they’re-doing-the-best-thing-while-actually-messing-shit-up’ curse.

He desperately wanted… needed… someone who would dedicate attention to him, just as much as they did to others. It wasn’t even egoistic, because Naruto didn’t demand full attention. He just asked for the same as everybody else.

Hyoo remained silent, watching as Naruto seemed to consider what to say next.

“But I am not sure this would work out the way I want it,” he finally blurted out. “Besides… uuh…” he looked anywhere but at Hyoo, and finally spit out what he was thinking. “It’d feel like I’m running away!”

He stopped again, fidgeting, and then he rushed to explain himself, not wanting the man to get the wrong idea.

“I mean, it’s not like I wouldn’t love to be trained by Jiraiya. He’s an old pervert but he’s strong, and he knows a lot of things about everything! It’s just that… I love Konoha. I really do. and I want to be Hokage! But three years is a lot of time. And what would I miss if I left? Isn’t a Hokage supposed to know and love his village? Would that really help me? Can’t I learn everything while still having a stable base here?”

He ruffled his hair, annoyed at his own inability to explain himself. He was really bad with words.

It felt like it was important for him to stay. Sasuke had wanted to run away, and now he wasn’t anymore. Naruto wasn’t abandoning his village by leaving, but… it still felt like he _was_.

There was too much of Konoha that he still couldn’t understand, and would he lose what little he had learned by leaving?

He’d only seen the evil glares of a lot of the civilians, he’d only seen their bad side. He loved the place, but there was so much of it that he’d only caught a glimpse of.

It was important –or at least it felt like that to him– that he was allowed to learn everything now. Not later. _Now_. Before… before…

Hyoo let out a soft sigh, but he nodded. He could understand what Naruto was saying, and even more what he _wasn’t_ saying.

What if the world outside was more welcoming than Konoha? What if he found somewhere he liked more, somewhere that liked _him_ more? What if he found himself starting to dislike Konoha for… everything?

Naruto wanted to steel his love for Konoha first –it meant that somewhere deep inside, the kid was aware that he still didn’t love it as much as he proclaimed.

Naruto would give his life for his friends, but would that love stand tall even in the face of protecting the whole of Konoha? He could say it would, but he hid inside himself a seed of doubt nonetheless.

And yet, Hyoo understood, because this confused person was young, and there were so many incognita in front of him.

Hyoo’s view of the village was as a whole. He didn’t think of it as single individuals, and even if he did, they were all worth saving for the sole reason that they were part of the village. This sort of ideal was what Naruto needed to learn. This place gave birth to many worth shinobi, just like it did to unworthy ones, and to nice villagers just the same as stupid, uncouth ones.

But they were all people, and the only reason they needed to be protected was that this was the place that had given birth to him, the place he belonged to, and one that, despite those against it, loved him.

Of course, the village was biased against Naruto, and he could never learn this truth by being himself… not yet. He was too young to make a name out of himself, they wouldn’t believe in him.

But this could change if Naruto chose the path of the ANBU.

Of course, this wasn’t _fair_ –Hyoo was painfully aware of that– but if this was the only way to give Naruto a chance, then…

“Naruto,” he said, compelling the teen to look at him again. “Are you convinced that staying here would let you learn how to understand” _‘and love’_ “all of Konoha? I won’t lie to you. I can’t offer you false reassurances. Many here despise your very existence, and it will be hard to gain their acknowledgement, let alone their respect”.

Naruto huffed. “I know this,” he replied, looking miffed. “I know, but…” But they just did not know him, nor did they want to get to know him. But he would make it so they would not be allowed to look away.

And if in the end they still disliked him, well… Naruto could live with knowing not everybody loved him. It was ok. He knew some people were suffering because of Kyuubi’s memory parading in front of them in orange clothes and a loud voice. He could understand that. But he was still going to try for their hearts nonetheless.

It was important that even if they never found in them to care about him, that they at least acknowledged that he was different from the demon he contained.

That he would never do anything to harm them, or Konoha.

Hyoo hadn’t said it would be impossible to win them over. He just said it would be _hard_.

“I know you want to get results now. But rushing never helps, especially when you are a ninja. You’re gaining more support day by day, but you’re failing to see the small achievements because your eyes are set on the ending result, which is still out of your grasp”.

“What do you mean?” Naruto frowned, confused.

“You want to be Hokage because this way people will recognise you, right?” at Naruto’s nod, Hyoo continued, “but being Hokage doesn’t mean you will be automatically respected. It’s actually the opposite –the respect will make you become Hokage, not the other way around. Building your strength, showing Konoha’s citizens that you are reliable and love the village… this is what will make the change”.

The blond froze in mid-step. This was the first time someone actually talked to him about his dream, acknowledging it as something possible, but it was also the first time someone worded it in such a way. He hadn’t thought of it like that, ever.

He had assumed that once Hokage, the village surely would…

“Being Hokage is more than just being strong and reliable, Naruto. Try to think about Sarutobi-sama”.

Naruto licked his dry lips.

He couldn’t remember a time when Sandaime hadn’t been taking some time to just walk around the village, smiling at the children, talking with the villagers and the shinobi, inquiring about their lives.

He hadn’t been just a great strategist or a great shinobi –he’d been a great person, too. One that people could respect and love.

The man had truly cared for the village –with all his heart. So maybe Sandaime had kept Kyuubi’s existence from him. So maybe he had made some mistakes in his life… and Naruto had felt some resentment towards him, at first. But that did not mean he loved him any less, or that Sandaime was a lesser person because of it.

The memory of the now deceased Hokage brought forth a sharp pain in his chest. Sandaime had been a great Hokage, yes. He had lived for the sole purpose of his village, and he had died to protect it, believing that it would rise again.

“If you want to be appreciated, you don’t have to be overly strong or cunning –you just have to show it with the little things. It might be harsh to hear that, but as you are now, the village would not allow you to learn about the everyday life. If you really wish to see how any other person sees it, this is why you should choose the ANBU. You could see a side of Konoha that normally is not for you to see. You’d learn how people act, and by doing so you’d learn more about them, and this in turn would let you find ways to make yourself useful once you are living there as yourself. It is not a painless path, and it is not a short one, but it is one that might bear some fruits”.

Naruto blinked.

Hyoo snorted, the sound muffled by the mask. “But don’t be mistaken. If you pass the test, you will spend three years exclusively doing missions with us. You won’t be Naruto anymore. You will just be a faceless ANBU newbie. You would have to train harder than you’ve ever had to, and give it your all without questions asked”.

_Three years to see this village the way it should have been for you._

The straightforward speech made Naruto feel strangely better. He was putting down his cards without hiding anything, treating him like an adult.

For this man –the commander of the ANBU, Hyoodoku– Naruto was worth the chance.

Once again, Hyoo answered the unspoken question, as if reading his mind. The man truly had a scary gift. “It is because you deserve the chance, and I think it would be the right choice. Because I believe in your potential. I believe in you”.

Naruto looked away, the honesty making his chest feel painfully tight, and when he glanced at his side again, the ANBU was gone, leaving him standing alone in the middle of the street.

…–…–…–…

“Iruka-san!”

Iruka turned around, face set into a frown as he muttered something under his breath about how unwanted visits always happened when he wanted to go check on Naruto, but upon seeing who was calling out for him, his displeasure melted into a small smile.

He had been trying to find Naruto, who had already left the hospital before he could get there, and was now somewhere in the village (possibly at Ichiraku?) but he guessed Naruto would have to wait a bit longer.

“Ah, Raidou-san, good afternoon,” he replied politely, fighting the urge to twist his smile into a much more fitting smirk. “It is unusual to see you around the academy… did you need me?”

Raidou’s face, as expected from a Jounin of his level, showed nothing of his inner amusement; lifting a package he’d been holding so that Iruka could see it, he offered it to the younger man, who made a show of picking it up with an exaggerated confused face.

Aware that there were other shinobi and civilians walking around them, Iruka kept his face schooled into a curious frown as he looked down at the sealed package. “What is this?”

Raidou had to inwardly snort. He had somehow missed this silent, private kind of fun; it felt highly refreshing, sharing a silly act with a friend.

“I was told it contains a few academy books that were mistakenly sent to the Hokage’s office this morning,” he explained, tone low and laced with warmth. “I was sent to the academy to give it back but couldn’t find anyone… you were still around, so I thought you would know what to do with them. I hope the mistake didn’t cause you any inconvenience”.

The weight of the package was familiar to Iruka’s hands, in a way he could not fully explain in words; it was like an old, comforting burden that he had accepted after a long period, but that instead of feeling heavy on his shoulders was more like gentle warmth surrounding him. He welcomed it with a wry smile.

“Ah, I was wondering why we hadn’t received them yet… thank you, Raidou-san,” he smiled at him. “I can’t wait to _unpack_ and _use_ the books with my students!”

Raidou’s polite smile was more of a smirk now than a grin. “Well then, I’ll be off, Iruka-san… goodbye!”

With that, Raidou disappeared in a small swirl of leaves. Iruka was still smiling, holding the precious book package into his arms, but his smile faltered when he felt another chakra signature flicker behind him.

“Hello there, Iruka-sensei!”

Kakashi was standing there, looking as happy and cheerful as ever, waving at him.

Iruka groaned, slightly peeved; in the past few days, Kakashi had visited him rather often, and ever since Naruto and Sasuke had returned he seemed to have taken a liking to interrupting him at random, and Iruka was starting to feel uncomfortable with that.

What did someone like Kakashi want from him?

If Iruka had been a fellow Jounin, then the fact that Kakashi seemed to want to keep in contact with him would be understandable, but Iruka was a Chuunin, and a teacher at the academy…

There was no reason for Kakashi to want to be this friendly with him. The only thing they had in common was that they both cared for Naruto, and maybe with a stretch, Kakashi wanted to repent for his actions and understand Naruto more, but…

Unfortunately, Iruka did not think that was it. Or better then, Kakashi probably did want to repent, but this was not the reason he was bothering _him_.

Iruka _had_ a vague idea of what Kakashi was hinting at, but he seriously didn’t believe it would be anything serious, not really. That was why the package the Jounin has sent him was still unopened on his kitchen table, as he did not dare try to open it in fear of what it would contain.

Kakashi’s tastes were rather questionable –what with his perverted books– and Iruka did not want to know. At all.

Despite all that, Iruka could have entertained the idea of forming some sort of friendship with the man, if he hadn’t been popping around uninvited at all the most inconvenient times, such as during his academy lessons or in his private time. Kakashi was a nice person, and even if his people skills were somewhat lacking, Iruka could address them in time and kick him into the right direction… but he wasn’t entirely convinced he wanted to at the same time.

As said before, Kakashi had no cognition of when to butt in.

He guessed he could reserve a judgement until he decided Kakashi was no danger for his sanity. If that was the case, then he would accept Kakashi’s offer of friendship and see where that lead them.

“Kakashi-sensei,” he greeted. At first he had referred to the Jounin with a more formal address, but with the recent visits he had decided to indulge to a more familiar wording, but still keep a good distance, just in case. “What are you doing here?”

“I heard Naruto was allowed out of the hospital and decided to drop by,” Kakashi smiled under his mask. “Also, I heard something you might want to know”.

Iruka frowned and scratched the bridge of his nose. “What?”

“Jiraiya-sama offered Naruto the chance to travel with him for three years, all the while training him as his apprentice. This is the reason I’m going to see him, to settle a few things before he leaves. Knowing Jiraiya, the two will be gone the moment he knows Naruto has everything ready, possibly even sooner than that”.

Iruka’s eyebrow threatened to move upwards, but he quickly schooled his expression into the expected mix of surprise and concern; he wondered how Kakashi had gotten the news, since neither of the Sannin had wanted the proposal to be revealed too soon.

He guessed Kakashi was far too good at finding information when he wanted to.

“And you know this… how?” he started walking again, and Kakashi followed him. “Did you spy again on Tsunade-sama and Jiraiya-sama?”

“Maa, maa,” Kakashi scratched the back of his head, closing his visible eye and laughing meekly. “It wasn’t _really_ spying…”

Iruka barely restrained himself from swatting Kakashi like he did with his students, but he knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to act upon such childish behaviour. Besides, it would be impolite, the two of them were not at that close level of acquaintance yet.

Not that he wished they were, but the itch to hit him _was_ quite strong.

“Are you sure about that?” he asked instead, appearing even more worried.

Kakashi nodded. “I heard Tsunade speaking with Jiraiya this morning, so it’s confirmed news”.

Iruka remained quiet, pondering over Kakashi’s position on the whole situation.

He seemed to be convinced that Naruto would say yes, and if Iruka didn’t know any better, he would have thought the situation to be ideal for the teen, everything considered. But as it was, he knew that wasn’t all of it. Not at all.

Undisturbed by Iruka’s sudden silence, which he interpreted as worry for his student, Kakashi pulled his most recent book from a pocket of his vest and flicked it open to where he’d stopped earlier.

Iruka glared at him, clenching his hands to stop himself from ripping the book from his hands, and tried to dispel the anger by mentally counting down from 100.

It didn’t really help much, but he managed.

Kakashi simply grinned under his mask.

…–…–…–…

Naruto stared at the walls of his apartment with some sort of apathy, a small grimace on his lips.

He had returned to his apartment, thinking that maybe he would forego his ramen need and just focus on the choice offered to him, but once there he found out someone had preceded him.

The front door was open wide, the lock broken apart, and although it seemed like the vandals had not destroyed anything of his possessions, aside from making a mess of his room, they had left some nasty messages scribbled on his walls in black and red ink, and that pissed him off more than a bit.

Most of the insults were slurred and written with uncertain hand, not to mention full of glaring mistakes, so Naruto supposed the people who had broken into his house were drunk, not thinking straight, but the fact remained that his walls were dirty and someone had shoved all his photos onto the floor, smashing the frames so the shards of glass were everywhere.

Not a nice picture to come home to.

It was disturbing that someone had taken it upon themselves to find some paint, smash his door down and then leave without a trace, but he guessed they hadn’t wanted to stick around any longer in the ‘den of the monster’.

At least it was just paint, not blood. That would have been really creepy.

It was also the first time something like this had happened. Usually people were more meek in their dislike –a few muttered words of hatred, a lot of glares, a shop owner asking him to leave, or refusing to sell him things at normal prices, if at all, and there was one time during the Celebration for Kyuubi’s defeat that someone had thrown a rock at his window, but…

Well, nothing like this. They had never dared to break into his home.

Rolling his eyes at the situation, annoyed that he’d have to clean it up by himself, he moved to the small kitchen and grabbed a broom, sweeping the floor first so he wouldn’t step on a shard of glass while cleaning.

The pictures were not ruined, so he’d only have to switch the frames, and he really hoped whoever the drunken person had been, that they hadn’t vomited anywhere in his apartment, so he felt it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

“I am _not_ a fox, idiots,” he snorted, starting to clean the wall with a sponge and a bucket of water. “Tsk, I thought people were more intelligent than that, jeez… and it’s written with just one _‘n’_ , not two…”

He scrubbed at the wall, but the sponge only managed to smudge the paint a bit. Waterproof, huh? Would it be worth to keep scrubbing in hopes it washed off, or should he paint the wall again?

Amusingly, he did not really feel angered or annoyed, or hurt by this obvious act of vandalism. Maybe it was because of Hyoo’s words, maybe it was because he was used to it, and could see it as what it was –the act of a drunken person who didn’t think it through– but he wasn’t as bothered as he should have been.

Had this happened years before, Naruto was sure it would have hurt… but as it was, this stupid act, with all its grammar errors splattered on his walls, was more pathetic than hurtful.

“Yo, Naruto!”

“Oi, Naruto, it’s me, Iruka-sensei, you weren’t at the hospital so–”

Iruka’s voice stopped abruptly as he and Kakashi entered through the door, and saw the painted walls and the broken frames Naruto had placed on his bed. Iruka gasped in shock, and Kakashi’s visible eye narrowed in clear anger.

“Naruto! Who did this?!”

Naruto turned around, stopping mid-motion. “I dunno,” he replied, shrugging. “Someone who missed a few lessons at the academy I think, they don’t even know how to write…” he snorted. “It’s waterproof though, do you think I should paint it over or…”

“Naruto…” Iruka took a step towards the blond, feeling dread fill his heart, but was stopped by Naruto’s calm stare. The teen didn’t look depressed, nor bothered, which was probably even more worrisome.

“Iruka-sensei, you worry too much!” he grinned at him, poking the wall with a finger. “This means nothing. It’d take something worse to get me riled up! Though I am not sure I’ll have the money to pay for the paint, hmm… I wonder if Tsunade baa-chan would give it to me for free if I ask…”

Iruka and Kakashi were taken aback by Naruto’s carefree attitude, and Kakashi couldn’t help a small smile; Naruto was growing up, and it was good to see that something like this would not push him down. Still, if Naruto would not get angry at this, Kakashi would for him. It was a disgusting act, and he would get to the bottom of this and find the culprit.

Iruka’s shoulders relaxed despite his worry, sincerely proud of his boy.

“Well, seems to me like a D–rank mission,” Kakashi said smoothly, hiding his anger inside himself. “I think a genin team will find they are lucky enough that they get to paint a wall today”.

Naruto stared at him, then smiled brightly at that, reminded of a time when he’d thought D-rank missions were the worst thing ever. He did not envy the poor genins who would have to work for him…

He was glad Kakashi was showing him his support without pity or anger.

“How does one apply for a mission anyway?” Naruto asked, looking at Iruka.

“You should head to the Hokage tower and talk with Shizune, she’ll show you where the papers to sign are,” he answered gently. _‘Besides, once she knows what it is for, she will inform Tsunade, and she will make sure the culprit is rightfully punished’_.

Kakashi looked at the broken lock on the door with a hidden grimace. “I suggest you to sleep somewhere else tonight as well, it is not safe if you cannot close your door properly”.

Naruto shrugged. “I don’t think whoever did this would come back while I’m here,” he reasoned, but at a glare from both his sensei he cowered. “Ok, ok! I will go… somewhere else, ok! No need to look at me like that!”

Iruka did not like the idea to leave everything as it was, so he helped Naruto pick up the photos and remove them from the broken frames, then promised he would fix them as soon as possible, and suggested Naruto to pick up the things he didn’t want to leave there and bring them over to the Hokage’s office, so Tsunade could give him a place to store them in the meantime.

Naruto saluted with a smirk, but did as he was told, gathering a few clothes in a bag and staring at his plants with a frown. He couldn’t move them, but he couldn’t let them stay there either. Besides, whether he decided to join the ANBU or Jiraiya, he’d have to find someone to water them while he was gone.

Asking for a long-term D–rank didn’t seem viable –even if he was sure the painting would be kindly taken care of without him paying for it, he did not want to stretch it too far with his plants, but he didn’t have the money to actually pay for such a long time.

He’d have to ask one of his friends maybe, or even Iruka-sensei himself. He’d have to find a solution soon.

Iruka observed him for a while, still concerned. He didn’t seem hurt by the obvious disrespect to his house, and the teacher had to wonder what this meant for him. It was true that Naruto’s house was mostly bare, and everything he held dear he shoved into his small bedroom, but it had to have some sort of meaning to him, right?

Or maybe it was just a place Naruto returned to at night. Iruka had to admit that Naruto seemed the kind of person who wouldn’t think much of his house, at least not now. He lived alone, and cared more about his training than anything else.

Iruka had to wonder if this would change in the future, if Naruto would find a place –maybe somewhere else, rather than in this place– where he could feel truly at home. A place he could love.

He hoped so.

Naruto really _was_ the most surprising ninja, after all.

…–…–…–…

Jiraiya and Tsunade stared at Naruto with trepidation.

He was standing in front of them, chin held high, and it was clear he had picked his answer already, and they were both trying to hide their interest.

Of course, both Sannin had been informed of what had happened to his apartment; just as Iruka had predicted, Tsunade’s countenance had been barely held in check, and there was a conspicuous hole in the desk, fist-sized, that was currently hidden under a pile of paperwork. Jiraiya himself had been seething, and the two elders had indulged in more than one cup of sake before getting ready to face Naruto.

Tsunade had allowed Kakashi to start an investigation on the matter, of course, but wanted to be alerted before the copy-nin did anything to the culprit, once found. She’d called dibs.

The fact that Naruto hadn’t seemed bothered by the situation only served to remind them that he was his own person, and his reactions were different than their own. Yet, Tsunade was proud of him for that. He had built a shield against the cruelty from the village, and rather than lash out he was calm and collected. Still she would never let anything like that happen ever again.

Shizune was standing outside of the room, with the pretence of fixing the paperwork for the new D–rank mission, but actually listening on them, one ear pressed against the door.

None of the three occupants flinched or showed any surprise when a figure appeared out of nowhere, after having sent a pulse of his chakra as a warning. Hyoo took place on the right of Tsunade’s desk, keeping quiet.

Naruto inhaled deeply, knowing it was time to speak up now that all participants were in the room.

“Tsunade baa-chan…” he started, smirking as a twitch developed at the side of her eye, “Ero–sennin… I had some time to think… about what to do,” he nodded to Hyoo, who nodded back, acknowledging his words.

Tsunade and Jiraiya stood straighter, feeling the seriousness of the situation creep on them. he hadn’t used their official names, preferring to still use his nicknames for them, and they understood what he was trying to say.

“I _really_ thought about it,” Naruto continued. “Training with you, Ero-sennin, would make me one of the happiest people alive, and you can’t understand how much it means to me that you actually _want_ to train me,” Naruto flashed him his foxy smile. “I know you are one of the best teachers I could have, no matter if you spend half a day peeping in the onsen or if you do your ‘researches’ by spying on naked women–”

Jiraiya cleared his throat, not knowing if he was being praised or insulted, and Tsunade coughed threateningly at him.

“But… I can’t come with you. I… I don’t want to leave Konoha,” he fumbled with his words, trying to find a way to explain his decision. “Iruka-sensei once told me that the village is trying hard to get itself back together after Orochimaru and Sand attacked, and to gain back its status and strength in front of the other countries. Konoha now needs all the shinobi it has, and even though most of the civilians think the opposite, Konoha needs _me_ , too,” he concluded, shrugging the feeling of embarrassment as the three adults stared hard at him.

As disappointing as it was to hear him say that, Jiraiya had known it would end like that. Even if he hadn’t wanted to admit it.

Because… because Naruto was different from him.

“I might not love all the people that live in Konoha,” Naruto coughed sheepishly. “But this is the place Sandaime died to protect. This is what Yondaime died for, too. This is the place where I was born, where my friends were born, where all of you now live –my precious people,” Naruto beamed at them. “The place you are all protecting right now. I want to become stronger, so that I can protect this place too, without boasting off a power I don’t have”.

He wanted to gain Konoha’s love, because the village had caught his heart the moment he had been old enough to think. He’d seen only one side of it, but he still couldn’t help it.

At first, he’d wanted to be Hokage simply to show the villagers that he existed, and that he didn’t deserve their hatred, but now… now he wanted to become Hokage to protect the village. And maybe…

Maybe it would matter, in the end.

He would become Hokage, not to be recognised but to devote himself to protect.

This was his decision.

This was his nindo.

“I want to stay,” he stated, facing both Tsunade and Jiraiya, and then he glanced over at Hyoo, still silent. “I want to see everything of Konoha, and for that reason, Ero-sennin, I cannot come with you”.

Jiraiya inhaled slowly, then exhaled equally slowly, and nodded.

Because deep down, after layers of bitterness and weariness, he felt the same.

Maybe he had never cared for Konoha like his teacher and student had, but he could understand why Naruto had decided to walk down that path, and he would be at his side all the while, and would do it proudly.

Naruto made the decision that Jiraiya had been too weak to make, and he would respect that.

“Tsunade obaa-chan, Ero-sennin, Hyoodoku-san… I want to be an ANBU”.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Glossary: (will be edited as seen fit as more chapters are added)
> 
> Hyoodoku – Poison Panther. (Hyoo – Panther; Doku – Poison)
> 
> –sama, –san – suffixes of respect.
> 
> ANBU (‘Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai’ – ‘Special Assassination and Tactical Squad’) – elite ninja that every village has. They are commanded solely by the Kage of a hidden village and have various different assignments, such as hunting down missing–nin, assassination or protecting political figures.
> 
> Nuke-nin – missing-nin. (A shinobi who defected from their village and turned rogue)
> 
> Hitai-ate – forehead protector.
> 
> Kiri-nin – Mist-nin, ninja from Kiri no Kuni, Mist Country.
> 
> Dobe – Dead last. It’s a word Sasuke used a lot to refer to Naruto.
> 
> Teme – bastard. Word Naruto uses to refer to Sasuke.
> 
> Sandaime – means ‘Third’ in a succession. In this case, the Third Hokage.
> 
> Obaa-chan – actually it means ‘grannie’. Obaa–san/sama means grandmother, while the suffix –chan is used to add familiarity. Just like you see in anime and manga when young men refer to older ladies they meet on the street as ‘auntie’, and to older men as ‘uncle’. Think of GTO.
> 
> Ero-sennin – means perverted hermit. Sennin was used to indicate people who took their training (ascetically or other) in solitude and meditation. In this case, Jiraiya conduced his own training together with his summon toads. Thus, Toad Hermit. As for ero… well, we all know why he’s called that.
> 
> Sannin – means three people. In this case, it expresses the power Jiraiya, Orochimaru and Tsunade have, meaning they are the three above others.


End file.
